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Thursday, 28 March 2013

My journey through the wilderness - Part 2

Sure enough, it was not long before I was experiencing all the trials and temptations that the children of Israel had experienced.  The battles were many, just like theirs, only theirs had been physical and mine were spiritual.  Glimpses of an easier time in my old, sinful life flashed through my mind, just like their thoughts had turned to the cucumbers and melons they had enjoyed in Egypt instead of the daily 'manna' they had to eat in the wilderness.
Sometimes it was very hard to put into practice God's word, even though I knew it was for my own good.  I knew that I had to let go of all the things that were sinful in my nature, the things that opposed God.  I had to leave behind my old life, I had been born again of God's Spirit and now had to learn His ways.  I had to have my mind renewed in Christ.  My old way of life had brought separation from God, the spiritual death that all mankind had inherited through Adam.

As I was shown scripture in Colossians ch. 3 vs.5-10, telling me to 'put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.  In these you too once walked, when you were living in them.  But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth.  Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.'  my natural mind told me 'impossible'.  However, by then I was already being shown that what was not possible with man was possible with God and my prayers to Him, and even what I felt were His instruction to me, had been coming out in a way which was completely extraordinary to me, in song and poem form.  

There were other scriptures which I was shown that the natural mind might interpret as harsh, as in DON'T DO THAT!!, but which my renewed mind was beginning to see more as a loving voice saying 'Child, I don't want you to be deceived into walking away from the blessings in Me'.  One of those scriptures was Hebrews ch. 6 vs. 4-6. 'For it is impossible in the case of those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, and have shared in the Holy Spirit, and have tasted the goodness of the Word of God and the powers of the age to come, and then have fallen away, to restore them to repentance, since they are crucifying once again the Son of God to their own harm and holding Him up to contempt.'  


The more I prayed to God to help me on my journey, the more He kept feeding me with the Word to instruct me, and giving me songs and poems of encouragement.  
The following are a song and poem that were written at particularly difficult stages of my Christian walk, and a scripture of encouragement that was given to me during that time.

Let go

Let go of the things that are holding you child
the things that will keep you from Me
each sin you hold onto is forming the crown 
that was placed on My head can't you see
Let the chains round your heart be unlocked by My love
let the light of My truth enter in
there's no longer a sentence of death on you child
if you'll only let go of your sin

Let go, let go of your burden my child

lift your eyes and look into My face
see the blood running out from the wound in My side
as I'm nailed to this cross in your place
see the water that flows from beneath My torn heart
it's a river of life to you now
but while you're holding on to the things of this world
there's a thorn pressing deep in My brow

So let go of the things that are drawing you back

to this world and its pleasures again
for although they appear to be joy for a while
they can only bring suffering and pain
I was wounded and pierced for the sins of this world
My stripes show the terrible price
and if you turn again from what I've saved you from
there remains no more sacrifice  

Put away the mirror child

Put away the mirror child  lay it on a shelf
it won't reflect perfection  it only shows you self
look into the well of life and see another face
the face of God the Father - full of truth and grace

This water  - it will cleanse you from the filthiness of sin
throw off the rags of this world - come son of Adam step in
Yes put away the mirror child and lay it on a shelf
lest you forget what God's making you 
.......... and become your former self

'Therefore brothers and sisters, we have an obligation - but it is not to the flesh, to live according to it.  For if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live.  For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.'  Romans ch.8 vs.12-14 

Thank You Father for sending us Your Holy Spirit which we could only receive through the amazing sacrifice of Your Son Jesus.  'By this He meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in Him were later to receive.  Up to that time the Spirit had not been given since Jesus had not yet been glorified'. John ch.7 v.39  

Easter Poem

Forever grateful Father
that You gave your precious Son
who, knowing His awesome destiny
said 'Not my will but Your will be done'
Yet it pleased You to bruise Him Father
so that I might have peace and be healed
for through this one act of sacrifice
was Your gift of salvation revealed

Forever remembering Jesus
that You hung upon that tree
taking the pain and punishment
that was meant for a sinner like me
Yet You chose not to open Your mouth Lord
and call on the Heavenly host
to come to Your aid on that lonely day
No...... You suffered and gave up the ghost

Forever Yours Holy Spirit
while You teach me and make all things clear
chastising me when I go astray
and wiping away each tear
Oh Father I love and respect You
and Jesus I want to obey
so guide me great Spirit and keep me
'til my Lord returns for me one day

Thanks be to God for His unspeakable gift.  2 Corinthians ch.8 v.15


Never Forsaken said...

I love all of your poems, but I must say this was by far your very best...Not surprising as the Lord gave it to you at a time when he was changing your very heart and soul!
The best writers are those who inspire others...
I am nowhere the gifted writer that you are, but I am encouraged by this to share a poem the Lord gave me while I was at a similar stage in my early walk with Christ.
I hope to post it very soon...Please keep sharing your writing here Brenda...The Lord really speaks through you because you write what is in your heart, and you always honor the Word of God by writing what is the truth.
~God bless you and your family as we celebrate His ressurection this week~ Lisa

Brenda said...

Thank you Lisa for your kind words. I am so glad that you will be sharing your poem, which I am sure will be beautiful. I believe we can all be encouraged by one another's testimonies, and I really believe that is part of how we are helped to overcome the enemy because all of our testimonies give glory to our lovely Lord. God bless you and your family too as we celebrate His resurrection.

child of God said...

Hi Brenda,
I agree with Lisa, that this is an amazing poem and so far my favourite. I can really see your poem put into tracks and then handed out with Bible verses. They are deep and I am sure many people could relate to them.

What a wonderful gift we have in Jesus.

Blessings hon,

Brenda said...

Hi Child of God,
I haven't put either of these two into tracts. The first one is a song and although I used to take my guitar out into the street when my friend and I went out, I never used to sing this one. I might take your advice and put this one in a leaflet (if 'Let go' is the one you meant). I haven't taken the guitar out for a few years, but we put poems with Bible verses and go out every two weeks. We meet some lovely people and find that many outsiders are very open to hearing about the Lord and His wonderful gospel. It is a case of 'one plants and one waters' but God adds the increase doesn't He. Both my friend and I really love evangelizing outside. God bless you and your family and have a blessed Easter.

T-Childs said...

Another wonderful post punctuated by wonderful poetry. Maybe I will write my testimony sometime. Some Christians come to God mostly unsullied, but I suspect many of us are wretched sinners, like I was. God in His mercy can save anyone and He calls many to serve.

Brenda said...

Hi Tim,
every person on this earth is a sinner, it simply means to be separated from God by our thoughts. Until we are born again we are functioning through the carnal mind. We just need to be reprogrammed, and that can only be done through renewing our minds in Christ. The Bible says that 'as a man thinks so he is' and there is no way I could think like God without being taught His ways or knowing His thoughts. I can only say that my life gets better the more I come to know His ways and try to conform to them with the help of the Holy Spirit. There is a freedom there that I could not imagine before, and the promise of 'no more death, no more tears' speaks for itself. I, and I am sure many others, would love to hear your testimony, or any part of it you wish to share.

Darryl Orrell said...

A wonderful Easter poem, but of course, is it not always so with the poems you write. Have a blessed Easter (Resurrection) Sunday Sister Brenda and remember, no matter the trials we might face in this world, our Lord has already overcome the world and in our weaknesses, we find His strength.


Brenda said...

Hi Darryl,
thank you for your kind comment, all credit goes to the Lord. For all who know Him could only speak and write good things about Him and be filled with gratitude for what He has done. I agree absolutely about the trials Darryl, we will all go through them, but with the finest warrior we could have to fight the battles. You too, your family and your church gathering, have a blessed Sunday.

Eya Ayambem said...

Hi Brenda, yes the things we hold unto can only bring suffering. True joy comes from the father alone,
thanks Brenda.

Brenda said...

Hi Eya,
That is true, when we allow His instruction to guide us in our life He gives us the good things that He has provided in this life, although there will be persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come.

Ken said...

Hi Brenda,
Awesome poems you wrote! It is amazing the change the Lord makes in peoples lives, isn't it? The way you attitudes change is something amazing. What I once saw as harsh and controlling, I now see as a blessing and protecting. Only by His grace, I have been able to turn from many sins. Thank you for sharing your testimony and may God bless,

Brenda said...

Hi Ken,
absolutely true, if it wasn't for the Lord's revealing to me the spiritual battle going on then I would not be spiritually free. What I thought were my heart's desires was only a searching for them, they were found in the Lord when Jesus came into my life. Blessing and protection, as you describe, are the perfect words for God's love and guidance in Christ, which also contains the comfort of forgiveness and long-suffering patience. There is no way that I could have freed myself from the enemy's hold. I had to first see the situation as it really was, in the spiritual, and then I knew that I could only overcome it through God's strength. God bless you for sharing too.

Laurie Collett said...

Beautiful Easter poem & post, Brenda! Praise God that He conquered death, & that He does not leave us in the wilderness! Love to you,

Brenda said...

Hi Laurie,
Amen to our God not leaving us in the wilderness. He is a very loving Father. God bless you.

S. Knowles said...

I thank God I came to know you Brenda, I believe the Sprirt of the Lord truly is within you. I don't believe He is in many people who claim He is, why because of their fruits. Your fruits are good, and no bad tree can bear god fruits.

Your poems were lovely as usual. You are gifted with the ability to write such beautiful poems. I was never really good at poetry. I shared 2 of the poems you wrote in this post. Your poems are so beautiful,I always feel the urge to share them after I have read them because I want others to feel how I felt after reading them. God bless you Brenda.

Brenda said...

Lovely to hear from you Sateigdra,
Only God is good and the only Spirit that is good in any of us can only be the Holy Spirit. I believe absolutely that the battle still goes on after we have been born again, but we have the protection and training of an amazing warrior who has a name above all names and to whom every knee should bow. We are born as babies in Christ and have to mature in Him. I never wrote poetry before I became born again, except for one poem when I was about twelve years of age. I was sat in a history lesson at school gazing out of the window and thinking about my father who had died when I was eleven. A poem just formed in my mind, beginning with the line 'The lease of life is short for some, for others there is time.' I lost it some time after, then when I became born again, poems and songs just came to me.
I thank God I have come to know you Sateigdra, and all others on these blogs that I have come across,because everyone has a piece of the jigsaw. One day we will see the finished picture eh? God bless you.

Lista said...

Hi Brenda,
There are times in which I sort of wish that I could just say hi without having to both Read and Think so much. It's not that I haven't Read the Post. I have. I did it quite some time ago and your Poems are Lovely as Usual.

I guess I've been a Little Bothered, though, by that One Verse, Hebrews 6:4-6, which is one of the more Difficult Verses in the Bible and also one that I have Puzzled over quite Often. To Understand it Correctly, though, we have to see it in the Light of the Prodigal Son Parable, as well as the Lost Sheep, when Jesus left the 99 that were not Lost and went after the One that was Lost.

And then there is also this Scripture...

"21) Then came Peter to Him, and said, 'Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?' 22) Jesus saith unto him, 'I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.'"

Sometimes People Back Slide and then come back and "Renew their Faith". Since this is so, exactly when do we find ourselves in the Situation in which Hebrews 6:4-6 Applies to us.

Brenda said...

Hi Listra,
Please feel free any time to just say 'Hi', you don't have to read or think all the time when you come over to my blog. As for the verses in the Bible, only the Lord knows where a person is in Him and when He would use a particular scripture to speak to them. All I know is that the Bible is not a book to me, it is a vocabulary that is used to renew my mind in Christ. I have had both of those scriptures used as guidance and many others. I am learning all the time from the Lord, and I believe there is a difference in doing something wilfully and being weak or immature in the Spirit. God is patient and long suffering. Only the Lord knows where we are and only the person spoken to by Him through any scriptures will know the reason for that word being spoken, and the whole situation at hand. My bread for a particular day will probably not be someone else's. One thing is for sure, my aim is to try to act on what the Lord is instructing me to do, as obedience to Him brings blessings - I know that. As to when do you find yourself in the situation in which Hebrews ch. 6 vs 4-6 applies to you? You will know when it does.

Brenda said...

Sorry Lista,
spelt your name wrong.

Just Be Real said...

Brenda thank you, as always sharing deep self with us. You are truly an inspiration. Blessings to you my dear....

Brenda said...

Hello JBR, I hope you are well. Thank you for your kind comment. As for sharing deep self, I think we have to, as the title of your blog states, just be real don't we? Otherwise we would be fooling ourselves and others around us maybe, but not God. God bless you and keep you safe.

Aritha said...

Thank you for writing the story of your 'spiritual' journey with God. He will finish what He starts. That is the great miracle of His amazing grace. He never let go what his hand began.

I love your poems, Brenda.

Big hug; your Dutch sister in Christ.

Brenda said...

Hello Jedidja,
lovely to hear from you. Yes it is wonderful that He does not give up on His work in us isn't it. That is, as you say, the miracle of Salvation. There is no other that could have that kind of love, and that wants us to have that love too. He knows each of us well because He created us, and therefore knows how to refashion us. Big hug to you too my Dutch sister in Christ.

Paul G said...

Hi Brenda;
I love your testimony and your poems.

Brenda said...

Hi Paul,
thank you for your kind comment. How can we not write about such a beautiful Lord and His love for us. I feel absolutely that He has rescued me and is renewing my mind in Him. I have to have my mind renewed for 'As a man thinks, so he is', and I know what my carnal mind was telling me to be what not in line with what the Lord is teaching me. God bless you.

Patrinas Pencil said...


I had to go back and read the first part to hear your testimony... so much truth and humility in your words. Your heart is open wide. Your eyes are full of Vision. Your spirit is in tune with His Holy Spirit. What a grace work He has done in you...

I love how you walk your readers through the questions...and how the Lord walked you through to the answers. I love your dedication to the scripture...the truth of God.

God cannot lie. He is faithful and true forever and ever. Man does misinformed...and lacking wisdom and understanding. Man is blinded until the Holy Spirit removes the scales form our eyes. Thus...why seek man's wisdom? when He has none in and of himself...all wisdom is given from the why not go directly to the Lord and His written Word...the Holy BIBLE... to hear God's truth...

It is in fellowship and the sharing of our testimony that we encourage each other...but it is the power of the HOLY SPIRIT alone...that draws a man to Christ.

You Brenda, are one being taught by the Holy Spirit. It is evident in your words and in your humility. You, like Paul,speak with spirit-taught words.

1 Corinthians 2:13 "This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words."

thanks for sharing your gift of wisdom...and God's love for us...a message the whole wide world needs to hear.

patrina <")>><

and now...

Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Brenda said...

I have been learning for thirty years and am still learning. If I did not seek the Lord to hear what He is saying to me then I believe that I would be in total confusion, and maybe even not be here. There is a line of a poem I wrote some years ago which often comes to my mind. 'I'm so afraid I'll fail You, the old man can be strong. Sometimes it's hard to tell Lord what's right and what is wrong', and I have realized that the carnal mind is vastly different to the mind of the Lord. You have said 'It is in fellowship and the sharing of our testimony that we encourage each other...but it is the power of the HOLY SPIRIT alone...that draws a man to Christ.', and this is so true. We could do nothing and be nothing without the Holy Spirit. We have not known in this world how to love as God loves, and any good in us when we are in Christ is only the Lord Himself. Thank you so much for the encouraging words you speak both in your blog and in your comments to others. You too know, as I know, that the trials are for strengthening us and that His plans are for the welfare of His people, not to harm them. God bless you abundantly Patrina.

Laurie Collett said...

Such a rich post, Brenda, with so many wonderful thoughts on Scripture and your beautiful poems. God bless,

Brenda said...

Thank you Laurie,
and God bless you for sharing your meaningful dreams and knowledge of the scriptures.

Laurie Collett said...

If we humble ourselves, we will be exalted in due time. Praise God that He set such a loving and perfect example of service. He who is last will be first. Come quickly, Lord Jesus! Thanks so much for your sharing your Spirit-filled words, and God bless,

Brenda said...

Hello Laurie,
lovely to hear from you again. I did not realize you had left another comment on here. Yes, Come quickly Lord. I believe, as many do, that it is very close. God bless you.