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Thursday 28 May 2020

The Voice

Many years ago I had an experience with my husband, and then young son, which I turned into a short story . I used different names for the people in the story, but it was our experience. 
The following is the story that I wrote, which was part of the Lord's teaching in my spiritual walk with Him.

The Voice
The blue water of the Indian Ocean was as smooth as glass as the tugs pulled the liner towards the dock, the air was still and the sun was rising in a cloudless sky.  The young woman stood on the deck, her arms resting on the ship's rail, and felt a stir of excitement as she surveyed the view in front of her.  How beautiful Colombo looked bathed in the early morning sunlight, with its lush green vegetation and pale, sandy beaches. She smiled in anticipation of the wonderful day that lay ahead.

Picture of Sri lanka

The voyage so far had been most enjoyable for Leah and her family. Their days had been filled with exciting things to do on board the large liner, and the further South they travelled the warmer the climate was becoming and the more exotic were the ports.  A picture of the cold English weather of Southampton formed in her mind as she remembered the day they had embarked.  For a moment her feeling of well-being was threatened by a cloud of sadness as she remembered her mother, sisters and brother waving from the wharf as the ship pulled away from the dock.  How long would it be before she saw them again, and what lay ahead in Australia?
'You have to watch out for the beggars!' a coarse voice jolted her jaggedly out of her thoughts.  She was no longer alone. People had gathered along the rail as the ship entered Colombo dock.  'These places are full of them!' spat out the voice once more, 'All professionals.'   'Beggars ......'  Leah thought, 'in such a beautiful place?' She had always been conscious of the poverty in certain parts of the world, and had felt a genuine compassion when she had seen documentaries on the television about such countries, but to sit in the comfort of her home in well fed Wales was a far cry from actually being confronted with the situation. She felt a tinge of guilt as she realised that what was really bothering her was the threat of distortion of her paradisaical picture.
By now the ship had docked and passengers were streaming onto the decks.  She pushed her way along the now heavily crowded deck, searching for a door that would lead below, where she had left her husband Bob and young son Adam finishing their breakfast.  They would have left the dining room by now and may be waiting for her in the cabin.  'Leah!' .... The strong, familiar voice cut through the air above the babble of passenger voices and the crew instructions.  She turned to see her husband raising his hand above the sea of heads.  He and Adam had not wanted to miss the docking of the ship and had come up on deck a few minutes earlier.  They watched together as the ship's ropes were secured and the gangway was lifted into place.  A military band appeared, adding a touch of both formality and welcome to the occasion, and making an excellent subject for a photograph. 
The clouds had already disappeared from Leah's horizon as they made their way to the cabin to get ready for the morning's trip into the city. They had planned to spend the morning in the city of Colombo with another couple, Sue and Graham, browsing around in the local shops and hunting for souvenirs, after which they would return to the ship for lunch. In the afternoon they would go on one of the organised excursions to Kandy, about an hour's journey away. 

There were several taxis waiting on the wharf as they walked down the gangway, they would take one of them into the city.  Somewhere behind Leah, a familiar voice arose above the clicking heels and laughter.  'Just wait and see, the last time I was here they were waiting for the taxis to arrive, and trying to get your money off you before you had a chance to spend it.  Don't be fooled by the children they bring with them that's just to make you feel sorry for them'.  'So 'the voice' had been here before,' thought Leah.  She turned around, wondering who the voice belonged to, but was distracted by another voice directed at Bob. 'You want taxi sir? I take you to shops, good shops.'  They all squeezed into the old taxi and it sped out of the dock area towards the city. 
During the short journey they had glimpses of poverty here and there as they passed shacks with poorly dressed people sat outside, but the beauty of the land itself, with its exotic plants and brilliant greenery seemed to help Leah push this reality from her mind. She did not want anything to spoil the day, and could not allow sentiment to rob her of the pleasure she could have during this once in a lifetime experience for her of visiting this beautiful country. Besides, wasn't there far worse poverty in desert countries where people had no food at all, she mused.  There must be plenty of fruit growing here.  This last thought seemed to ease the slight guilt that was beginning to creep in at her previous, selfish thoughts.



Picture of Kandy Sri lanka

The taxi pulled up outside some old shops whose windows were filled with the usual things that would attract tourists.  There were local crafts and clothes and of course electrical goods, cameras and jewellery in abundance.  Leah was so taken with these lovely things in the shop windows that at first she did not notice the little group of local women waiting as she stepped from the cab.  She was suddenly surrounded by these women, each holding a baby in one arm with their free hand outstretched, obviously begging for money.  They pushed their babies close to the little group of visitors and looked pleadingly at each face. For a moment Leah was filled with compassion as she looked at the thin arms of the woman in front of her whose sad eyes looked from Leah to the baby and then back once more to her.  Then she remembered 'Professionals ... carrying children ... waiting for the taxis.' The 'voice' had been right! Yet they looked so genuine so thin .... But then these people would not get fat on the type of food they ate anyway.  Leah argued with herself like this for a few seconds, then Bob took her hand and pulled her towards the nearest shops.  What good would a few pence have done the woman anyway she reasoned as she was jerked away from the outstretched hand which was now being directed towards a newly arrived taxi.  She felt that the incident was over and yet she felt disturbed.  Why was this, was she still feeling guilt ? But hadn't 'the voice' been ri. ...... 'Let's go inside this shop and have a look around' Grahams's voice broke in on her thoughts and once more Leah's sky was cloudless as she hurried towards the shop.
The rest of the morning was spent buying souvenirs and looking around Colombo and by midday they were heading back for the ship in the old taxi, chatting happily about what they had bought.  The morning had passed quickly and Leah had forgotten about the begging woman by the time the taxi pulled up alongside the ship.  She was happy and looking forward to the afternoon excursion which would take them through the countryside to one of the seaside villages several miles away.  They enjoyed a leisurely lunch and then spent some time lazing on the deck chairs on the sun deck.  'The weather is glorious' thought Leah as the hot sun soaked into her face.  Thoughts of the cold Winter they had left behind in Wales floated through her mind and she started to feel more optimistic about settling in Australia.  'Come on mum.' Her son's voice interrupted her daydreaming.  'the coaches have arrived'.
Fifteen minutes later they were settled in the 'coach' as Adam had called it.  It was a very old bus which had no air conditioning. Leah couldn't help laughing to herself as she noticed large cobwebs on the ceiling and remarked to Bob that she could not remember ever seeing cobwebs on a bus before.  She was glad when everybody was seated and they pulled off with all the windows open, enabling a very pleasant breeze to pass through the bus.  They drove away from the coast through beautiful countryside filled with lush vegetation and beautifully coloured flowers.  Every few miles they would pass small clusters of tiny, makeshift dwellings which stood out against the beauty of the land like hessian patches on a velvet cloth.  Leah's heart was touched by the fact that the shed in their garden back home in Wales had been in much better condition than these homes were.
After about an hour of travelling through small villages the sea came into view again,  they had reached their destination. It was an elegant beach front hotel, a long white building of single story construction.  The passengers quickly vacated the hot stuffy bus all with the same thought in mind, a long, cool drink.  They made their way through the usual gathering of local traders offering their crafts for sale.  Leah decided that the drink had priority over the souvenirs, knowing that the traders would still be there when she came out.  The party was directed through the plush hotel and out through the back doors onto a large, covered patio area.  Tables and chairs were set out neatly beneath a covering of plaited brush, and immaculately dressed waiters stood by waiting for the party to be seated.  They all enjoyed a beautiful assortment of fresh fruits and long cool drinks, and of course every kind of tea that one could imagine.  Leah was ecstatically happy as she walked along the beach an hour later with Bob and Adam.  The sea was a beautiful shade of deep blue and crystal clear.  'Paradise' she thought. They stopped by an outrigger with a brightly coloured sail. ' It was probably what the locals used as a fishing boat.' Bob said. After they had taken some photographs they walked back to the hotel where they were served delicious Sri Lanka tea.
All too soon it was time to go and they made their way back to the bus.  The traders at the front of the hotel zoomed in on them like sharks, and money exchanged hands rapidly.  Leah noticed an old man dressed in a loin cloth, with no shoes on his feet.  He was holding the hand of a little girl, 'probably his granddaughter', she thought.  He held out his free hand to each person in turn as they passed him.  Leah walked away from him over to one of the traders.  'Look Bob ' she said, pointing to a little carved boat the trader was holding. 'It's just like the one on the beach.'  Bob bought it for her and she turned and got on the bus with others.  She took a window seat and examined the little boat.  It had only cost about a pound in English money, and it was beautifully made.  She was pleased with her purchase, pleased indeed with the whole day in general.  Suddenly she was aware of a face outside the window looking at her, not just a face but a hand outstretched.  It was the old man who had been begging.  A man sat in front of her was speaking in answer to somebody else in front of him.  'Sure I gave the old bloke something, what's fifty pence to me, it's a week's wages to these people' The enormity of his words hit her like a ton of bricks.  She looked at the little boat she was holding and all the pleasure she felt at having it disintegrated like a child's burst bubble as she thought about what that pound would have meant to the old man.  He and the little girl had probably come from the old shacks they had passed earlier.
The bus started to pull away and Leah looked out at the old man.  He was moving with the bus, still outside her window, deep dark eyes still looking at her, bony hand still outstretched.  Leah felt cold in the humid atmosphere of the bus.  She saw the tragedy of poverty as it really is trapped in the midst of great wealth, unnoticed to the point of blending in and being accepted.  She saw the old man, and yes the baby-carrying women too, as the victims that they really were in a society that had begun to treat them almost as a tourist attraction, of distraction to some.  These were not 'professionals', their begging had become their profession out of necessity. Their poverty and suffering was etched on their faces and in the eyes she had not looked into. She started to blame 'the voice,' but knew full well that all the choices had been hers alone.  'Driver, stop the bus!'  All heads turned as she sped down the aisle.  'I won't be a minute.'  She got back on the bus knowing that this time she had made the right choice, and listened to the right voice.

Tuesday 19 May 2020

Believe, all things are possible

Just once again thought I would re post something I wrote in a post several years ago which may encourage someone else at this moment in time who might be going through trials in their own lives.

When I first came to be born again of God's Holy Spirit I experienced many things in my life that revealed the absolute power of God and His ability to do that which is not possible for man to do.  Over the years I have still seen so much of God's goodness in not only my own life but in the lives of others too, but I have felt many times that I have been in a battle.  I have always tried to seek God in areas where I have needed help, and feel that I have been shown that there is only one plumb line to go by when seeking counsel, it is the word of God.  If anything is spoken during my time of seeking the Lord on an issue, if advice is given me by other people, whether they be christian or not, I must always go back to check that it is what God is speaking to me.  I truly believe that we can miss out on blessing through not only our own unbelief but other people's.  The daily bread that we each receive from God has the ability to mature us spiritually and if someone has not reached a certain faith level, no matter what 'title' they may have in this world, then they may actually cause you to doubt what God is encouraging you to believe. Yesterday I met a young man who had recently become a christian, who was so passionate about his salvation and seeking God's word for guidance it was a pleasure to speak to him.  I came away from him praying that he would never become a lukewarm christian. 

The following is a testimony of an event in my life several years ago that I believe the Lord has brought back to my remembrance to encourage me to persist in seeking his voice, always believing what He is saying to me without doubting, and not watering it down with mans' doctrine or unbelief.



I thought about the dream I'd had, as I lay in bed that morning.  In it I had been walking through a Woolworth store, with a ginger cat in my arms.  First the cat had jumped down and disappeared, and then one by one my clothes had started to disappear from off my body until I was completely naked.  I had a strange feeling that there was a spiritual meaning to the dream, and that God was trying to reveal something to me, but what?  My first thought was that it involved loss, and I started to think in the negative, that maybe I was going to lose something, and I started to worry that it might be my spiritual garments of praise or salvation, but where did the cat fit in?  I decided that the best thing that I could do would be to pray to the Lord about it and wait on Him for answers.

About a week later I had another dream.  This time I was in a town, and I was looking for wedding clothes.  I had been looking in many shops and could not seem to find anything suitable.  After much searching I met a lady whom I recognised.  She lived near me, and her name was Grace.  I told her I was looking for wedding clothes and she said that she had some that I could borrow.  In my dream she lived at the top of a very high apartment building, and she went up to fetch the clothes for me.  When I looked at them I saw that they were extremely nice wedding clothes and took them, telling her that I would look after them.  I then started walking through the busy shopping area of the town, still looking at clothes, carrying Grace's clothes in a large bag.  I found nothing so I went further out away from the town looking, still nothing.  I returned once again to the town but could find nothing I wanted.


After quite some time I suddenly realized that the bag was missing.  I must have put it down somewhere and forgotten to pick it up again.  I started to worry because the clothes belonged to Grace, and I knew I had to go to her and tell her what had happened.   I felt terrible because I knew they were very expensive clothes, and regretted being so careless with them.   I went to the apartment building and rang the bell at the bottom.  Grace came down and I told her what had happened.  Although she was sad about it she was very forgiving and said that it was alright, that I was not to worry.  I realised that I had to find more wedding garments and I started to look again but could find none that I liked in all the stores.


I then thought about a place that I had already been to, it was a small store that was away from the busy town, out in the quiet of the countryside.  Maybe I would find something there if I looked again, I thought.  I walked through the town, past all the stores that I had searched in, out to the very edge of the town and a little way down a quiet country lane to the store.  I went in and looked around but could find nothing there for the wedding I was to attend.  I started to make my way out of the door when the sales lady said 'Excuse me, you left this here the last time you were here'.  I turned and looked and saw that she held in her hand the bag with the wedding clothes from Grace in it.  I could hardly believe it and was overjoyed to have found them again.  I thanked the sales lady and made my way back to the town to tell Grace that I had found them.  When I got to the apartment building where she lived, the door was open.  I went inside, climbed the stairs, found Grace and told her the good news, that I had found the wedding clothes that she had given me.  She smiled, said she was very happy and I went on my way, telling her that this time I would look after them.

Over the next few days I started to realise what the Lord was trying to reveal to me through the dreams. The first dream represented my initial coming to the Lord, a putting off the old way of life, the clothes representing the grave clothes of the wisdom of this world, and the cat representing the natural things that I loved and adored.   God and His word to me had to come first in my life no matter what.  The wisdom and the pulls of this world must no longer govern me.


There is a peace within my soul no riches could have bought it
I found it not in wealth or fame in wretchedness I sought it
This peace that passes understanding peace that I can call my own
Can not be found in all the world, It's found in Jesus Christ alone

The second dream represented my being given the wedding clothes, and the fact that I had been given them by grace, when Jesus had come into my life as my Saviour and my guide.  Even the fact that Grace lived in a high apartment was, to me, showing the majesty of God.

I began to realise that the Lord was portraying a warning in this dream that I was, or could be in danger of, letting the busyness of this world distract me, and it could cause me to lose my wedding clothes, my garments of salvation.  I thought about my life and how I had ceased to pray in the Spirit as fervently as I used to, slowly losing the close contact that I had always had with the Lord from the moment I had been born again of His Spirit.  It was as if I was carrying my garments of salvation in a bag instead of wearing them.



I had been sustained in sickness and finances for several years by the Lord, experiencing miraculous healings and being supplied with all that my husband and I needed,with His word being my guide.  Yet it was as if I had almost begun to think negatively, allowing the voice of this world to question what God was saying, and the Lord's promises seemed as far away and mislaid as the missing bag of wedding garments in the second dream.  When I had first come to the Lord God had spoken the words 'Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you shall be saved, you and your household' to me.  Then the words 'Take every thought into captivity' had been spoken to me, and 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding'.  I had listened and been very close to the Lord, being guided by Him and taking everything opposing His words into captivity.  I had been wonderfully in His presence, and kept in good health.  Now I realised that I had let the world slowly encroach into my life.  I had stopped taking every thought into captivity.  Ones that did not confess what Christ and His words said to me had been allowed to cause doubts that all things were possible with God, or even that God was wanting my welfare in this world.   The dreams had come with the perfect timing of God, and I was being shown that there was a battle going on in me between the light of God's words in the renewed mind of Christ in the newly created me, and the darkness of the thoughts in the carnal mind of the old me.

At the time of the dreams I actually was searching for wedding clothes to wear to my son's wedding, which was to take place in Scotland.  I eventually found an outfit, a light skirt and a dark top.  Even these clothes seemed to reflect what was going on in my life, a mixture of the light of faith and the darkness of doubt.  The wedding over, I returned to Wales, stopping overnight at my cousin's house in Lancashire.  While there, I went into a shop and noticed a little scented candle in a jar with a china lamp shade that sat on the jar.  It was very pretty and I decided to buy it.  As I was carrying it to the till I noticed the label on the front of the jar had the words 'Believe.  All things are possible'.  I knew the Lord was encouraging me to do this because I had been singing a little song over and over at the time in which were the words 'all things are possible with You Lord'.  Incredibly, at the same time, a song was playing in the shop, from which flowed the words, 'I need you to be my guide'.

When I returned home, the following Sunday morning I was in the prayer meeting before the service at the church I was attending when the pastor spoke out regarding whether we really believe that God will do that which He has promised to do in our lives.   I shared with the people at the prayer meeting about the candle lamp, saying that I believed the Lord was encouraging us to keep the light of the truth of God's promises burning, casting out any thoughts from our minds which would cause doubt and rob us of those promises, and I prayed for the Lord to help all of us to take every thought into captivity, opposing doubtful thoughts by declaring 'The Lord has said..'.




The word 'paragon' was brought to my mind several times, it was on a white van which was in the church car park and also in ;the garage opposite my house as I was writing this testimony.  When I looked up the meaning of the word, one of the things the dictionary  said it meant was 'a pattern of perfection, a model, a person or thing of supreme excellence'.  Jesus is perfection, and a paragon is what we shall become if we truly believe on Him, putting Him first in our lives, listening to and acting upon His word to us as it is spoken..

In my second dream, when I had lost the clothes and I had to go to tell Grace, the door was shut, representing my separation from God by letting the things of this world distract me from the things of God.   The fact that there was a doorbell reminded me that through Jesus there remains a connection through prayer in these times, God responding being represented by Grace coming down to open the door.   Even Grace being sad but telling me not to worry represented to me God's love, long suffering and forgiving nature when we fail Him.   The second time I approached the home of Grace to say that I had found the wedding clothes, the door was open and I went up to her.  This reminded me of the prodigal son and his Father's open armed welcome once the son had repented and was on his way back.  Even the place where the clothes were found spoke to me of finding grace in that quiet place of prayer.

For some time after I was reminded of weddings and wedding clothes and I realised that the whole of what had happened over the previous couple of weeks was encouraging me to draw closer to God in prayer, throw off the grave clothes of the wisdom of this world, put on my garments of salvation , and believe that all things are possible with God, including complete physical healing.



I believe that this testimony has been brought to my attention to once again increase intercessory prayer in my life as it once used to be.  Something happened a couple of days ago that painted a picture of what is happening to cause much unbelief amongst God's people today.
I was looking on Google for help to see street views and came across what I thought was a download that would do this.


I ended up downloading a search engine called 'Babylon'.  'How did I end up with this'? I thought, and wondered why I felt so uncomfortable that it was on my screen.  Then I realised that, as well as simply not liking the change, and the fact that I still didn't seem able to view the street maps, the name 'Babylon' brought disturbing thoughts to mind.   I was reminded once again of a parallel between the Lord's people being in Babylon in Daniel's time.  Babylon is the Greek form of Babel, which means 'confusion', and I believe that the church is in danger of  being in the spiritual Babylon, a state of confusion by mixing man's doctrine with God's doctrine and not believing every word that comes out of the mouth of God.  By Daniel not eating the 'rich' food of the king of Babylon, and just eating the 'vegetables' with nothing added to them, He remained in communication with God and was protected by Him in the 'fire'.   

I believe the Lord is encouraging me to believe absolutely everything that He speaks to me will come to pass.......if I only believe it.

Sunday 10 May 2020

TRUST

I would just like to share some thoughts I have had, and poems that  the Lord has brought me to write, enlightened by scripture, during the trials I have gone through since I have been born of His Holy Spirit. I am still going through trials but I know that they have strengthened me,  I hope they will encourage those who are also in the Lord, who may be going through hard trials at this moment, to put their trust wholly in the Lord.

The Lord won't let you stumble

The Lord won't let you stumble
as He brings you through the fire
He'll keep your feet on the stepping stones
and guide you across the mire
Just keep your eyes looking forward
as you walk the narrow track
your problems will only engulf you
if you try to take them back
Remember the Lord has your burdens
He holds your life in His hands
If you trust Him you'll see the Father
and you'll enter the Promised Land

You will keep in perfect peace he whose mind is stayed upon You because he trusts in You.
Isaiah ch. 26 v.3
                                                                           


To fly without wings

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
don't lean on your own understanding
for to fly without wings requires faith on your part
and don't worry about where you're landing
For the One Who sustains you is able to soar
and your future He holds in His hand
as you fly over mountains and deserts galore
to a beautiful fertile land
















Shining Knight

You seek him here - you seek him there
you seek your hero everywhere
Where is this knight in gleaming white
to take you far from sorry plight
to take away your worldly fear
and fill your heart with love and cheer
What need of I to write this rhyme
when you know He's been there all the time
This Saviour from our bondage frees us
so call upon the name of Jesus


The next poem is one that came into my mind for a beloved Christian friend who was going through very hard trials. I hope this may speak to someone who may also be going through hard trials, to say that there is One Who is able to bring us through all the trials that we go through. 

I KNOW A MAN WHO CAN

I’ve only been able to hope for you
as I’ve watched you in your sorrow
when you’ve felt there were only midnight skies
with no new dawn tomorrow

I’ve only been able to cry for you
when your hurt has been so great
when your God has told you ‘Not just yet’
and you’ve known you’ve had to wait

I’ve only been able to pray for you
to believe in God’s mercy and grace
when you’ve cried in utter disbelief
at the trials you’ve had to face

But ‘though I may not be able to grant your desire
and to bring about God’s great plan
I have to say with all joy in my heart
I KNOW A MAN WHO CAN

'And the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, (and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father), full of grace and truth.
John ch. 1 v.14 .

 I have found that the Lord speaks to me in many ways, accompanying His Word with signs, and He has encouraged me recently through a wonderful Irish singer called Tommy Fleming. I came across him on You-tube singing two beautiful songs. One is called  'Hard times' and the other is called  'Don't give up 'til it's over', and I would encourage all,  through what may be hard times in our walk with the Lord, to not give up 'til it's over , and we have overcome the spiritual enemy who wants to rob us of what God has for us in Jesus.