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Tuesday, 3 February 2015

Increase my faith in You Lord

This post is not written to judge, it is written to encourage those who may have had a word from the Lord concerning healing in the same way that I did.

For many months now I have been waiting on the Lord to heal me completely from lumps in my body that have been there for over twenty five years.  Up until a few months ago the Lord kept me through the word He had given me all that time ago which was 'My grace is sufficient for you', and God has always been the strength in my weakness.  Then I believe He spoke to me very strongly through Psalm 103 regarding healing me 'from all my diseases'. Whereas before I felt like I was in a 'Paul's thorn in the flesh' situation, I now feel as if I am in a 'Job' situation.

Since then other physical ailments have attacked my body, making my joints painful, preventing me from walking long distances and causing problems for me when I am gardening.   Also, I let my reasoning cause some wavering in my complete trust in the Lord's promise, looking up possible causes of my symptoms on the internet and allowing man's knowledge to cause doubt in my mind, and started to dwell on the negative possibilities of what my future may hold.   Immediately I knew I had done wrong, (one of the first scriptures the Lord spoke to me many years ago was 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding'), but found it a little hard to take these thoughts captive, even though I have had much evidence of the Lord's healing power and the fact that He can bring about miracles.  However, I have had times over the last few months when I have constantly prayed and praised the Lord and the pain has disappeared completely for some time.

One night I had a dream that I lost the two emeralds in a ring I have.  The colour green has always reminded me of healing, possibly because Revelation ch.22 v.2 states that the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and I believe the Lord, knowing what the colour green reflects to me, used this in the dream to warn me of my wavering trust in Him and my allowing man's knowledge to cause doubt regarding His promise to heal me.  In the dream I searched for the missing emeralds and found lots of semi precious stones and even some that looked similar to the emeralds but were not the real thing.  This reminded me of my looking for (on the Internet) alternative remedies for my situation other than waiting on the Lord.

Many people may find my life very strange and wonder why I have not gone to the doctor over the last twenty odd years regarding this problem.  I just thought it was time that I shared the reason why, and a little more of my testimony.

I had initially come to be born again of the Holy Spirit in a church in Adelaide, Australia which operated much as the church did two thousand years ago, each individual being allowed to share what God had brought them to share, and using the gifts, including prophesy, that God had given them.  In this church I had seen many miraculous healings and had experienced one myself, having already experienced divine healing as a child through the prayer of faith operating in my father. 

When we came back from Australia to live in Lancashire I looked for a church to attend and prayed that the Lord would lead me to the right one.  Often I would pass a book shop, as I drove to the next town, that had a sign above it saying 'Jesus is Lord'.  This is what I would ask the Lord daily, that He would lead me to a church gathering where He was Lord, and where the people worshiped in Spirit and in truth. 

I was looking in the second hand column of the local newspaper one day and there was an advert that had been placed in the wrong section (or the right one really).  It was asking for anyone who believed that Jesus was their Lord to come and meet up and bring a musical instrument if they played one.  My son and I went to meet up with the three people and the gathering of five grew within a very short time, meeting in houses and eventually being supplied with a building.  During the two years that I lived in Lancashire the group grew to over one hundred people and the gifts of the Spirit, including prophesy and healing, operated in a wonderful way.  I saw many healings and miracles and prophetic revelations that only God could have brought about.

While living in Lancashire we came to live next door to a lady who had been told by a doctor seven years previous that she only had two months to live.  She told me that she went down on her knees and prayed to God.   I shared with her what God had done in my life regarding a miraculous healing and other healings, and she used to come into my house every morning after my husband had gone to work and our son had gone to school, and we used to have a lovely time of fellowship and prayer.  She lived for twenty two years after she had been told by the doctor that she had only two months to live.

I wanted to know more about faith and the gift of healing so I asked the Lord to teach me about sickness and healing.  Little did I know that I was at the beginning of a long journey. The following is just a small part of it:-

We had returned to Wales to live.  One evening I had eaten a fish meal and believe that a small bone from the fish lodged in my throat.  We had to cancel going out with friends that evening as the discomfort grew worse.  Over the next few days things deteriorated even more.  It felt as if an abscess had developed low down at the back of my throat, and the pain was almost unbearable.  At that time I had for some time been seeking the Lord about sickness and  healing, and faith.   I knew that faith came by hearing and hearing by the word of the Lord and I know that through His word He had been teaching me to trust in His divine power to heal, which I had already experienced many times.  He was also teaching me to trust in what He was telling me to do no matter what came along to test it.  I felt it had something to do with spiritual warfare.  

When I sought the Lord over this particular situation, He spoke to me through several scriptures that I kept opening to.  He kept showing me Isaiah 31 v.1 'Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD', verse 3 says 'the Egyptians are men, and not God, and their horses are flesh, and not spirit'.  I knew that 'Egypt' stands for the world in the Bible and felt as though the Lord was instructing me here not to rely on man and his physical ability, but to rely on God and His spiritual capability.  I also kept opening my Bible to 2 Chronicles ch. 16 v.12 which reads 'In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the LORD, but only from the physicians', and also to where it says in Mark ch. 5 vs. 25 and 26:- Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years,  and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.'  I really felt that all these scriptures had been highlighted to me for the purpose of encouraging me to trust in the Lord and not in the world regarding my situation.  
After this revelation of scripture to me many lumps appeared in my body, under my arms, underneath my foot, in my leg and also on my arm.  There are lots of things I could share where some of these lumps have been removed, but it would take a long time to share these testimonies.  However, I have to say that these happenings have served to increase my faith in the Lord being in this, and why they had to happen at those particular times.

Some years ago, when our son and his first wife and two children were living in Scotland, the phone rang.  It was my daughter in law.  She had been to the doctor after finding a lump in her breast some time before, and she had phoned to ask me to pray for her.  I did pray for her and kept opening my Bible to the page where I felt a certain  scripture was being brought to my attention.  It was from Isaiah ch. 54, the first line in verse 17 'No weapon formed against you shall prosper' and I believed that this word of God was for my daughter in law to believe in, so I phoned her back and shared it with her.  As believers we are in a spiritual war and the weapon here being used by the enemy was fear of what might come from this lump, and I believe it eventually robbed her of her healing.

A few days later she phoned me again and said that she and my son had visited  a church several miles away that they had never  attended before and a man she did not know came up to her and gave her a copy of a commentary on that very verse.  She could not believe it, he had known nothing about her or about our phone calls.  As time went by my daughter in law had surgery to remove her breast and some glands and after a couple of years, sadly, she passed away. 
Some time later I was on holiday with our son and the children. I had forgotten to take my Bible with me so went to get my son's Bible which had a leather cover over it.  When I opened it a piece of paper with writing on it fell out from within the leather cover.  It was something that my daughter in law had written down and contained within it were words saying that no trace of cancer had been found in any tissue or gland that had been removed, with the question 'Was it God or was it the doctors?'    I believe absolutely that the cancer had been removed by God, but I also understand my daughter in law's fear that caused her to go to the medical profession for treatment.

One morning when I began to draft this post I was thinking to myself 'The church has been given gifts by God and have been authorized to use these gifts.'  ( 1 Corinthians ch. 12 vs. 1-11 ), and we are given instruction as to what to do when we become sick. (James ch. 5 vs. 14 and 15 ).  We are told here that the Lord will restore him to health.  So why is not this happening?

I was thinking of Pharaoh's magicians, of whom many were the physicians of the day, and how they were doing the same things as God was authorizing Moses and Aaron to do, and how the medical profession is doing things that appear to come alongside what God has authorized His church to do as far as healing is concerned.  They are even delving deep into human cloning, and are now trying to work on a three parent embryo.  What is this if it is not trying to be God, and is it coincidence that a staff and a serpent are involved in both?
We have to be very careful that we do not allow doctors to become gods in our lives, and believe their word above what God has spoken to us,  putting man in the position of God in some areas of our lives.

Are some people going the same way with the medical profession, unwittingly relying on it as the healing god?  Is it coincidence that the symbol that the medical profession uses is the staff of Asclepius? 

The staff of Asclepius      

In Greek mythology the Rod of Asclepius is a
serpent-entwined rod wielded by the Greek god Asclepius,
 the deity associated with healing and medicine. 
 The symbol has continued to be used in modern times,
where it is associated with medicine and health care,
yet frequently confused with the staff of the god Hermes,
the caduceus.


I have had many signs accompanying His word over the years to encourage me to trust in Him.  One morning I awoke to a vision that the bed cover was as the sea and I was floating in an ocean.  When I later went downstairs the post man put a Kenneth Copeland Christian magazine through the door .  It had a picture of the exact replica of my vision on the front and the words 'Walk on water' at the top of the page.   I felt it was being emphasized to me that all things are possible if I keep my eyes on Jesus and not to do what caused Peter to sink - take my eyes off Jesus and look on the natural situation.

I have only ever seen miracles and healings through the prayer of faith in two churches, and these churches were operating as the church operated two thousand years ago with different parts of the body sharing what was revealed to them.   I am sure that there are lots of other church gatherings experiencing the gifts of the spirit but I really believe that much of the church is missing out, and I feel passionately to pray for a revival of these gifts operating within the church .  Perhaps there are others that feel this too.  May God grant us the desires of our heart here.

I know that we are all different and that each individual goes through their unique trials, but I believe absolutely that I have to try and overcome the spiritual enemy in my life and endeavour to continue to try to keep my eyes on the Lord in my situation.  The following is just one of the poems that I believe the Lord brought me to write, which came at an appropriate time within my trials.

How far will you follow Me
How far will you follow Me
along this narrow track
when the path becomes too lonely
will you think of turning back
Will you yearn for the things you left behind
when I called you to be apart
are there things that belong to your world of sin
lying dormant within your heart
How far will you follow Me
along this lonely road
When you suffer man's rejection
will it prove too great a load
Will you stand within my guiding light
no matter where it leads
and will you listen to my Father's voice saying
'Child, go plant the seeds'
Yes how far will you follow me
along the path to life
will the trials be too much for you
 - of sickness and strife
or will you hold on fast to faith
remembering what I have said
that faith in your Lord has a power
that can even raise the dead





S. Knowles said...

Hey Brenda. I know it's been a while, Happy New Year by the way. It's wonderful to see another encouraging post from you.

Whenever a person detects that there is something a bit off with their body somewhere, they're told to immediately visit the doctor; even other believers will advise the same. But the first place we're really supposed to go is to God in prayer. After that we may get a bit anxious and worry and fret then eventually fear causes us to race to the dr. But really after we pray we should do as David advised us to do in Psalm 27:14 "Wait on the Lord, be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; wait I say, on the Lord." Twice David says to wait. As humans waiting is a very difficult thing to do, especially if you think you may very die waiting because of your health.

I don't I ever told anyone this but a few years ago I found a lump in my breast. I was afraid and immediately thought i had breast cancer. So naturally i went into panic mode imagining having cancer and having to have chemo and be sick. Eventually I went to the doctor because I couldn't take guessing what it could be anymore. Actually i was encouraged by an old friend to go, she's a nurse. So I went, and when I got in the doctors office and had lay down on the bed, the doc examined me for lumps. She said she didn't feel anything. I thought to myself what in the world, I just felt it that day. I tried to show her with my fingers where it was on my breast but even i couldn't find it. At the end of the exam she never found it. I thought to myself it was because of how I was positioned on the bed. She scheduled another examination down at the hospital, but this time it was to be done with a machine. I never went. I honestly was afraid to go and find out what it could have been. Later I felt the lump again. This time I cried and cried and prayed to God saying something along the lines of, "God do whatever you will with my body, your will be done." That's been a little over 2 years ago I think. I don't think of it much anymore. Sometimes i would feel a lump that feels like an abcess in my breast but it doesn't hurt. Sometimes I don't feel it. I don't know what it is really and I'm not certain I'll ever know. I think I may have prayed for God to heal me whatever it may be. All I feel about it really is God's will be done.

Though I have thought at times what if it idls something that eventually developes or manifests into something serious and I coyld have prevented it by going to that appointment and having it treated. I refuse to dwell on that thought. I can only think God's will be done. If I have nothing and I worry constantly on it what if I develop something from the worrying. I will keep you in my prayers Brenda. Have faith and pray God's will be done.

S. Knowles said...

Also, I had a dream lastnight and in my dream although I don't know yet what they mean but I remeber hearing the name Josiah and I looked up the meaning and one place I saw it means healed by God/God will support. I also saw where it means The Lord burns/The fire of the Lord.

In another part of the dream I saw a gold crown that I was about to place on someones head but I stopped when I noticed it was a crown of thorns. I examined it closely, it was gold and had little tjorns all around.
I don't know what any of this means but I felt the desire to share it with you.

Brenda said...

Sateigdra, how lovely to hear from you.
There is so much that has happened since this trial began in my life, and there is no way that I could share it all. I have it written down in diaries and sheets of paper everywhere. What I can say is that I could never have come this far without the rhema word of the Lord instructing me, or in my own strength. I believe absolutely that nothing is impossible with the Lord, but I also believe that there are some things that are not possible to do without the Lord, and I would never advise anyone to go down a similar road as myself without being fully convinced that the Lord is leading them.
I believe that you are a person who is totally transparent and honest, and I pray that the Lord will speak to you, guide you and bless you with knowledge and wisdom in your trial. I know you will be alright, and He will be with you whatever happens in your life, as He is with all His children.
Your dream is lovely, the Hebrew meaning of Josiah is 'Yahweh supports', and I can truly say that I have felt His support throughout all the years of my trial.
I always think of the fire of the Lord as a cleansing fire, and the crown as the crown of life:-'Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life.'(Revelation ch 2 v. 10)

Testing can be a very 'thorny' process, but is also strengthening, as Job discovered. ('But He knows the way that I take;
When He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.')Job ch. 23 v.10 -

I believe that we go through our separate trials before gaining the crown of life and each person's trials are different.

I thank you for your encouragement Sateigdra, and I pray that the Lord will bless you, my lovely sister in Him, with peace, comfort and His loving presence as you too run your race. I pray all the words in this little poem for you.

'May all the blessings God can bring
be gathered with the hand of Spring
and strewn across your path each day
as Jesus guides you on your way
May shadows of your broken dreams
be always lightened by sunbeams
and you receive the very best
of all that God for us has blessed'

Brenda said...

I forgot to tell you something that happened yesterday.
I had a text from my granddaughter
it read:-
Philippians 4:6-7
Be anxious about nothing. But in all things, with prayer and supplication, with acts of thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God. And so shall the peace of God, which exceeds all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Xx
I asked her what had motivated her to send it and she said that it had been in her daily reading and she had just felt led to send it.
I have not heard from her from some time and felt it was a lovely fitting scripture for the present time.

Later on in the day I was out in the back garden putting some washing on the line. I looked out across the field that backs onto our property and saw a flock of sheep. One of them, I wish I had taken a photo of him not, looked as if his legs had disappeared and just his body was placed on the ground. I thought 'I hope that sheep hasn't sunk into the ground' as the field is very wet and clay based. I went and got my binoculars. As I looked at the sheep through them I could see that he was looking very contented and munching away as he looked out across the field. I think because his coat is very thick and a sheep's legs are very small I could not see them tucked under him. Straight away as I looked it came into my mind 'Be still and know that I am God.'
I believe absolutely that the sheep lying down and munching away, looking completely content was a sign to me from the Lord to accompany the scripture that my granddaughter had sent and the scripture that came into my mind as I looked at the sheep.

I believe the Lord was saying to me through all of this that, just like the sheep who is being still, lying down eating what God has provided for him in the field, I am one of His flock and He is telling me to 'Be anxious about nothing. But in all things, with prayer and supplication, with acts of thanksgiving, let your petitions be made known to God. And so shall the peace of God, which exceeds all understanding, guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus,' and for me to be still and carry on eating the spiritual food that He is providing me with.
God bless you Sateigdra

S. Knowles said...

Thanks Brenda I enjoyed that poem. And thank you for those words of encouragement.

Aritha said...

Thanks Brenda! It is interesting and beautiful to read!

Brenda said...

HI Ariella,
it is nice to hear from you. Thank you for your visit and kind comment. I must get back to visiting blogs more often.

Laurie Collett said...

Dear Brenda,
What a fascinating dream and interpretation. I love the ways God speaks to His children, as you point out in your post -- His Word,encouragement from others, dreams, and in other ways. Praise God that He uses you to share your testimony with others. You are a great blessing.
Love in Christ,

Maleeka said...

Hi Brenda,

I am encouraged by your word. I have been recently attacked with arthritic pain and not being able to walk at the pace I used to walk at. I feel like God is calling me to rest. I don't know. I praise God for your testimony to lean on God for your healing. All I know is the doctor. Sore throat - doctor. Upper respiratory infection - doctor. Anything wrong - doctor. It's pretty hard to have unshakeable faith in God when all I know is the physician. Pray for me. I want to trust God more than my physician and what my eyes see and body feels. Thank you.

Brenda said...

Hi Laurie,
Lovely to hear from you, and it was lovely to come over to your blog and read about your dream. Yes, I believe absolutely that we must share our testimonies because somewhere out there are others who are going through the same things. We all have different experiences and these experiences are able to encourage others.
May God bless you abundantly as you share your testimonies and dreams Laurie.

Brenda said...

Hi Maleeka,
I am so glad that something of my testimony has spoken to you. God's Word can not go out and return to Him void, and I believe that it is the scripture contained within a person's testimony that is the power that speaks to another person in a similar situation, and the testimony of that person that encourages another to put their trust in that scripture.

I pray that the Lord will prove His word contained within Psalm 103 v.3a(Who heals all your diseases,), as you work out His word contained in vs.1,2a
(Bless the Lord, O my soul;
And all that is within me, bless His holy name! Bless the Lord, O my soul,)

What is not possible with man is possible with God.
The Lord inhabits the praises of His people and I am sure that you would join me in saying 'Praise His lovely name.'
God bless you Maleeka.

Ceil said...

Hi Brenda! Wow, you have had so many experiences with healing. How can that not encourage your faith? I also have knows a healing for me, and seen healing services too. God works in so many ways, why wouldn't he use us?
Thank you for telling us all about your past experiences so we can grow. And your dreams too! It reminds of King David in a Psalm saying that why stay up all the time, when God speaks and moves while we sleep?

Brenda said...

Hi Ceil,
How lovely that you have experienced healing too. There is no way that I could go down the path I have gone down without God's instruction to continue to trust in Him.

He has always shown me Job ch. 33, vs. 15,16 ' In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls upon men, in slumberings upon the bed;
Then he opens the ears of men, and seals their instruction,' regarding my dreams, and it is very true that God speaks and moves while we sleep.
God bless you Ceil

child of God said...

Hi Brenda,
I stand with you praying for this healing, trusting Father will touch you in His timing.

Blessings hon,

Brenda said...

Thank you coG, His timing is always the right time.
God bless you.

Laurie Collett said...

Hi Brenda,
You are a great encouragement through your inspiring testimony. I love how God uses His children to lift up one another.
Many blessings to you and your ministry,

Brenda said...

Hi Laurie,
thank you for your encouragement. I know that trials sometimes are not easy, but I know that if the Lord is with us in that trial it can only have a happy ending.(It reminds me of the bedtime stories my father used to make up when I was a child, which always had a happy ending). I have two choices within this trial Laurie, to go by what I believe the Holy Spirit is instructing me or to listen to the reasoning within my carnal mind. I know that I have to choose the 'good' in order to grow in Him.
God bless you Laurie, and I loved your latest post on your blog. It was very encouraging.

Sandi said...

Your post reminded me of a time I had a really bad headache at work. I was hoping to attend a church meeting that evening, but my head hurt so bad I could hardly see straight. So, there in my ordinary office, at my ordinary desk, with my ordinary, everyday voice, I prayed silently for the Lord to heal that headache. Brenda, it suddenly went away. Wow...

Brenda said...

Hi Sandi,
how lovely for you to share that experience. I know exactly how you felt, my friend and I have experienced many times of answered prayer in a similar way. Perhaps I will share more of those times on my blog, there is one in particular which is on my mind.
God bless

David C Brown said...

He is able! Though I tend to 'His grace suffices'. Trust!

Brenda said...

yes His grace is sufficient and He has kept me in His grace for over twenty years, as I have shared in my post:-
Then, some months ago I believe absolutely that the Lord spoke to me through the scriptures saying that He would heal me, and I have a choice whether I believe Him or not. He is not a man that He should lie, and without Him as my strength in this trial I could not survive. We all have a different walk in the Lord, and you must travel your journey as you are led too.

Laurie Collett said...

Dear Brenda,
Praise God for your faithfulness in choosing the Holy Spirit to comfort and direct you in trials rather than reacting in the carnal nature as so many do. You're right, every child of God eagerly awaits the happy ending, no matter what the present trial, of seeing Him face to face in glory and spending eternity with Him!
May God bless you richly,

Brenda said...

Hi Laurie,
I feel I have to wait on the Lord because of asking Him many years ago to teach me about sickness and healing. Many people may think that I am doing the wrong thing but I know that I can only do this in the strength of the Lord. I have had two dreams lately and I know they are speaking into my situation, and I know you understand that dreams have their purpose because you have them too.
God bless you for your encouragement Laurie.

Laurie Collett said...

Amen, Brenda! His timing is perfect, and He often gives answers to prayer that seem delayed in human terms. But these periods of waiting on the Lord strengthen our faith and dependence on Him. Praise God that He encourages us while we are waiting, through His Word, the support of fellow believers, dreams and in other ways.
God bless,

Brenda said...

Yes Laurie,
I believe absolutely that each one of us have different experiences with our Lord. God allowed Satan to inflict sickness upon Job, but he could not touch his life. Job's trial brought him to seek God and communicate with Him more, and there was a happy ending to the story. Revelation ch. 12 v. 11 states regarding our battle with Satan :- 'They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.'
Our Lord has won the battle, all we have to do is try trust in Him. This comes through trials and perseverance, but only when we are led by the Word.
God bless you Laurie