Increase my faith in You Lord

This post is not written to judge, it is written to encourage those who may have had a word from the Lord concerning healing in the same way that I did.

For many months now I have been waiting on the Lord to heal me completely from lumps in my body that have been there for over twenty five years.  Up until a few months ago the Lord kept me through the word He had given me all that time ago which was 'My grace is sufficient for you', and God has always been the strength in my weakness.  Then I believe He spoke to me very strongly through Psalm 103 regarding healing me 'from all my diseases'. Whereas before I felt like I was in a 'Paul's thorn in the flesh' situation, I now feel as if I am in a 'Job' situation.

Since then other physical ailments have attacked my body, making my joints painful, preventing me from walking long distances and causing problems for me when I am gardening.   Also, I let my reasoning cause some wavering in my complete trust in the Lord's promise, looking up possible causes of my symptoms on the internet and allowing man's knowledge to cause doubt in my mind, and started to dwell on the negative possibilities of what my future may hold.   Immediately I knew I had done wrong, (one of the first scriptures the Lord spoke to me many years ago was 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding'), but found it a little hard to take these thoughts captive, even though I have had much evidence of the Lord's healing power and the fact that He can bring about miracles.  However, I have had times over the last few months when I have constantly prayed and praised the Lord and the pain has disappeared completely for some time.

One night I had a dream that I lost the two emeralds in a ring I have.  The colour green has always reminded me of healing, possibly because Revelation ch.22 v.2 states that the leaves of the tree of life are for the healing of the nations, and I believe the Lord, knowing what the colour green reflects to me, used this in the dream to warn me of my wavering trust in Him and my allowing man's knowledge to cause doubt regarding His promise to heal me.  In the dream I searched for the missing emeralds and found lots of semi precious stones and even some that looked similar to the emeralds but were not the real thing.  This reminded me of my looking for (on the Internet) alternative remedies for my situation other than waiting on the Lord.

Many people may find my life very strange and wonder why I have not gone to the doctor over the last twenty odd years regarding this problem.  I just thought it was time that I shared the reason why, and a little more of my testimony.

I had initially come to be born again of the Holy Spirit in a church in Adelaide, Australia which operated much as the church did two thousand years ago, each individual being allowed to share what God had brought them to share, and using the gifts, including prophesy, that God had given them.  In this church I had seen many miraculous healings and had experienced one myself, having already experienced divine healing as a child through the prayer of faith operating in my father. 

When we came back from Australia to live in Lancashire I looked for a church to attend and prayed that the Lord would lead me to the right one.  Often I would pass a book shop, as I drove to the next town, that had a sign above it saying 'Jesus is Lord'.  This is what I would ask the Lord daily, that He would lead me to a church gathering where He was Lord, and where the people worshiped in Spirit and in truth. 

I was looking in the second hand column of the local newspaper one day and there was an advert that had been placed in the wrong section (or the right one really).  It was asking for anyone who believed that Jesus was their Lord to come and meet up and bring a musical instrument if they played one.  My son and I went to meet up with the three people and the gathering of five grew within a very short time, meeting in houses and eventually being supplied with a building.  During the two years that I lived in Lancashire the group grew to over one hundred people and the gifts of the Spirit, including prophesy and healing, operated in a wonderful way.  I saw many healings and miracles and prophetic revelations that only God could have brought about.


While living in Lancashire we came to live next door to a lady who had been told by a doctor seven years previous that she only had two months to live.  She told me that she went down on her knees and prayed to God.   I shared with her what God had done in my life regarding a miraculous healing and other healings, and she used to come into my house every morning after my husband had gone to work and our son had gone to school, and we used to have a lovely time of fellowship and prayer.  She lived for twenty two years after she had been told by the doctor that she had only two months to live.

I wanted to know more about faith and the gift of healing so I asked the Lord to teach me about sickness and healing.  Little did I know that I was at the beginning of a long journey. The following is just a small part of it:-

 

We had returned to Wales to live.  One evening I had eaten a fish meal and believe that a small bone from the fish lodged in my throat.  We had to cancel going out with friends that evening as the discomfort grew worse.  Over the next few days things deteriorated even more.  It felt as if an abscess had developed low down at the back of my throat, and the pain was almost unbearable.  At that time I had for some time been seeking the Lord about sickness and  healing, and faith.   I knew that faith came by hearing and hearing by the word of the Lord and I know that through His word He had been teaching me to trust in His divine power to heal, which I had already experienced many times.  He was also teaching me to trust in what He was telling me to do no matter what came along to test it.  I felt it had something to do with spiritual warfare.  

When I sought the Lord over this particular situation, He spoke to me through several scriptures that I kept opening to.  He kept showing me Isaiah 31 v.1 'Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help, who rely on horses, who trust in the multitude of their chariots and in the strength of their horsemen, but do not look to the Holy One of Israel, or seek help from the LORD', verse 3 says 'the Egyptians are men, and not God, and their horses are flesh, and not spirit'.  I knew that 'Egypt' stands for the world in the Bible and felt as though the Lord was instructing me here not to rely on man and his physical ability, but to rely on God and His spiritual capability.  I also kept opening my Bible to 2 Chronicles ch. 16 v.12 which reads 'In the thirty-ninth year of his reign Asa was afflicted with a disease in his feet. Though his disease was severe, even in his illness he did not seek help from the LORD, but only from the physicians', and also to where it says in Mark ch. 5 vs. 25 and 26:- Now a certain woman had a flow of blood for twelve years,  and had suffered many things from many physicians. She had spent all that she had and was no better, but rather grew worse.'  I really felt that all these scriptures had been highlighted to me for the purpose of encouraging me to trust in the Lord and not in the world regarding my situation.  
After this revelation of scripture to me many lumps appeared in my body, under my arms, underneath my foot, in my leg and also on my arm.  There are lots of things I could share where some of these lumps have been removed, but it would take a long time to share these testimonies.  However, I have to say that these happenings have served to increase my faith in the Lord being in this, and why they had to happen at those particular times.
 

Some years ago, when our son and his first wife and two children were living in Scotland, the phone rang.  It was my daughter in law.  She had been to the doctor after finding a lump in her breast some time before, and she had phoned to ask me to pray for her.  I did pray for her and kept opening my Bible to the page where I felt a certain  scripture was being brought to my attention.  It was from Isaiah ch. 54, the first line in verse 17 'No weapon formed against you shall prosper' and I believed that this word of God was for my daughter in law to believe in, so I phoned her back and shared it with her.  As believers we are in a spiritual war and the weapon here being used by the enemy was fear of what might come from this lump, and I believe it eventually robbed her of her healing. A few days later she phoned me again and said that she and my son had visited  a church several miles away that they had never  attended before and a man she did not know came up to her and gave her a copy of a commentary on that very verse.  She could not believe it, he had known nothing about her or about our phone calls.  As time went by my daughter in law had surgery to remove her breast and some glands and after a couple of years, sadly, she passed away.    Some time later I was on holiday with our son and the children. I had forgotten to take my Bible with me so went to get my son's Bible which had a leather cover over it.  When I opened it a piece of paper with writing on it fell out from within the leather cover.  It was something that my daughter in law had written down and contained within it were words saying that no trace of cancer had been found in any tissue or gland that had been removed, with the question 'Was it God or was it the doctors?'    I believe absolutely that the cancer had been removed by God, but I also understand my daughter in law's fear that caused her to go to the medical profession for treatment. One morning when I began to draft this post I was thinking to myself 'The church has been given gifts by God and have been authorized to use these gifts.'  ( 1 Corinthians ch. 12 vs. 1-11 ), and we are given instruction as to what to do when we become sick. (James ch. 5 vs. 14 and 15 ).  We are told here that the Lord will restore him to health.  So why is not this happening? I was thinking of Pharaoh's magicians, of whom many were the physicians of the day, and how they were doing the same things as God was authorizing Moses and Aaron to do, and how the medical profession is doing things that appear to come alongside what God has authorized His church to do as far as healing is concerned.  They are even delving deep into human cloning, and are now trying to work on a three parent embryo.  What is this if it is not trying to be God, and is it coincidence that a staff and a serpent are involved in both? We have to be very careful that we do not allow doctors to become gods in our lives, and believe their word above what God has spoken to us,  putting man in the position of God in some areas of our lives. Are some people going the same way with the medical profession, unwittingly relying on it as the healing god?  Is it coincidence that the symbol that the medical profession uses is the staff of Asclepius?  The staff of Asclepius

In Greek mythology the Rod of Asclepius is a
serpent-entwined rod wielded by the Greek god Asclepius,
 the deity associated with healing and medicine. 
 The symbol has continued to be used in modern times,
where it is associated with medicine and health care,
yet frequently confused with the staff of the god Hermes,
the caduceus.
 

I have had many signs accompanying His word over the years to encourage me to trust in Him.  One morning I awoke to a vision that the bed cover was as the sea and I was floating in an ocean.  When I later went downstairs the post man put a Kenneth Copeland Christian magazine through the door .  It had a picture of the exact replica of my vision on the front and the words 'Walk on water' at the top of the page.   I felt it was being emphasized to me that all things are possible if I keep my eyes on Jesus and not to do what caused Peter to sink - take my eyes off Jesus and look on the natural situation.

I have only ever seen miracles and healings through the prayer of faith in two churches, and these churches were operating as the church operated two thousand years ago with different parts of the body sharing what was revealed to them.   I am sure that there are lots of other church gatherings experiencing the gifts of the spirit but I really believe that much of the church is missing out, and I feel passionately to pray for a revival of these gifts operating within the church .  Perhaps there are others that feel this too.  May God grant us the desires of our heart here.

I know that we are all different and that each individual goes through their unique trials, but I believe absolutely that I have to try and overcome the spiritual enemy in my life and endeavour to continue to try to keep my eyes on the Lord in my situation.  The following is just one of the poems that I believe the Lord brought me to write, which came at an appropriate time within my trials.

How far will you follow Me
 
How far will you follow Me
along this narrow track
when the path becomes too lonely
will you think of turning back
Will you yearn for the things you left behind
when I called you to be apart
are there things that belong to your world of sin
lying dormant within your heart
 
How far will you follow Me
along this lonely road
When you suffer man's rejection
will it prove too great a load
Will you stand within my guiding light
no matter where it leads
and will you listen to my Father's voice saying
'Child, go plant the seeds'
 
Yes how far will you follow me
along the path to life
will the trials be too much for you
 - of sickness and strife
or will you hold on fast to faith
remembering what I have said
that faith in your Lord has a power
that can even raise the dead