Just another pebble on the beach

Last Saturday, just after I awoke, something I had written long ago came into my mind.  It was an article I had put in a little booklet that I had entitled 'Days in my life', in which were accounts of occurrences in my life through which I have experienced the teachings of God, and some of the poetry that I have written as a result of those experiences. 

  The teacher that God has used,
   the One whom He uses with all
   who  believe on His Son Jesus
   Christ, is the Holy Spirit, and in
   a sense 'Days in my life' is yet
   another small portion of my own
   personal 'Book of Numbers',
   God speaking to me as I journey
   through my wilderness towards
   the promised land.

   After I had looked for, and found,
   the article in this booklet, I thought
   I would share it in a post

Just another pebble on the beach

I had been cleaning at the local college of further education for about six weeks.  The job required that I rose early in the morning to be in work for five, finishing at eight.  I had taken the job to earn extra money to buy a new computer, which I believed was much needed in order to produce the booklets, cards and laminated poetry wall hangings that I had started to make.  Two years earlier I had registered a small cottage industry which had never really got off the ground, and I thought the few hours work in the morning would provide me with the extra money needed, while also leaving me plenty of time to create the products, and the college was walking distance away from where we lived.   Everything seemed just right.

I had initially sought the Lord over whether I should try for the job or not, and had felt that He was saying 'no' through the scripture in Isaiah ch. 30 v.1 'Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help' being brought to my attention many times, 'Egypt' meaning the worldly way of doing things.  Part of me had felt that I should go and get the money for the equipment by looking for a job, at the same time realizing that I would have less time to spend on my writing, and part of me had been telling me to carry on doing what I was able to do with the equipment I already had, and that the Lord would provide the extra equipment at the time that He thought I needed it.   After some reasoning the 'go and get the money' part of me won and I took the job, not really wanting to believe that the Lord had actually spoken to me through the scriptures.

By now, after six weeks of working at the job, I had realized that the voice from the scriptures was by far the wisest.   I was so tired from rising at just after four in the morning that I found I was coming home, having a shower and sleeping for most of the morning, too worn out to do any of my writing. 

I had seen two things in the college that reminded me of the Lord and what He required of me.  One was a picture of 'The Light of the World' hanging on a wall, and the other was a sculpture called 'Rebirth by Fire'.  I believed I was being called as a witness for Jesus, through my writing, to be a light in this dark world and to tell of rebirth and salvation through Jesus Christ.  It was not about running a business.

There was also a photograph of pebbles on a beach.  One of the pebbles had an image of a very sad, sleeping face on it.  This photograph moved my heart in a strange way.  I imagined the face on the pebble was dreaming of what might have been, but that the tide would soon come in and wash away those dreams and it would remain 'just another pebble on the beach', never being able to get out from its rut.  I saw myself never being able to fulfil my purpose as a believer if I carried on trying to do things my own way.

The word 'procrastination' had also been brought to my attention several times and it caused me to think that procrastination and time, just like the tide in the pebble's situation, would wash away my dreams if I allowed them to.  I had become a hindrance to what God was trying to do through me and trying to get things done faster by my own methods was actually slowing things down.  My times are in God's hands and every day of my life is written in His book before even one of them was formed, and I am gradually coming to realize that what He requires me to do has to be done in His time, not mine.

I realized two things here, that to simply obey what the Lord is telling me to do without question was by far the wisest thing to do, but I also learned that God knows the way we  will take and that He is patient and long-suffering with us as He allows us to learn by our mistakes, thereby delivering us in our affliction.  Job ch.36 v.15.

Realizing my mistake I sought the Lord for advice, this time with the full intention of acting on it  That morning the reading in my 'Daily Bread' Christian booklet was from Exodus ch.18 vs.17,18 'This thing that you are doing is not good.  You will surely wear out'.  How appropriate!  I read from my Bible in the book of Ecclesiastes ch.4 v.13 'Better is a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who will no more be admonished.'  (That was me well and truly told.), and from the book of Ecclesiastes ch.5 v.13 'There is a grievous evil which I have seen under the sun, riches were kept by their owner to his hurt'.  These scriptures spoke straight into my situation.  I was definitely worn out, and was foolish for not taking the advice not to go after the job in the first place.  I was also being warned about keeping the spiritual riches, which I believed God wanted me to share through my writings, to myself.

The next day I bought some spaghetti that I noticed was called 'Seeds of change'.  That night I had a dream in which I was handing in my notice at work, and the following morning the daily reading in my devotional booklet was entitled 'Changed priorities', and the scripture was 'They immediately left their nets and followed Him.'  The message was loud and clear, I had to leave my own work and follow Jesus, thereby getting my priorities right.

Without hesitation I gave my notice in the next day.  Amazingly, the reading in another daily devotional that I received that very morning was 'He will perfect that which concerns me' and the next sentence said 'Don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow, God will help you deal with whatever things come up'.

Amen.