I'm changing Lord, I'm changing

 I feel led to share a poem that I wrote not long after I came to the Lord:-

I'm Changing

I'm changing Lord - I'm changing

I'm starting to feel free

I've never known the peace Lord                       

that's now surrounding me 

I'd often wondered why this God

Who said He'd set me free

allowed me to go through my life

in pain and misery

But what I could not hear Lord                   

and what I could not see

was this man Jesus standing near                                                       and His Father calling me

I did not know this Jesus

I did not understand

that all I had to do

was reach out and take His hand

I'd always listened to the world

who said 'You must do right

but if you want to sin a while

God doesn't see at night'

I found this God, this Father

not through the good I'd done

but when I turned from His old foe

and looked towards His Son

'And this is His name whereby He shall be called, the Lord our Righteousness'. 

Jeremiah ch. 23 v.6

Jesus is our righteousness.  The new covenant that God has made with us is by faith in Jesus Christ, the old has been taken away.  Christ is the end of the law for righteousness.  It is  often said in the world that if you do right you will go to Heaven.  The problem is that every man is 'right' in his own eyes, so nobody really knows what is 'right'.  There is only one 'truth', one way back to God.  Jesus is full of grace and truth.  Jesus said 'If you continue in my Word then you are my disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.'  He also said 'I am the way, the truth, and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me. ' 

When I first received the Holy Spirit I was so overjoyed I just wanted to shout out to everybody that 'Jesus is Lord'.  However, I found that when I tried to witness it didn't always come out the way I wanted it to and there didn't seem to be power in it.  Since then the Lord has revealed to me that He has to teach us first before we ae sent out to preach the Gospel.  He says 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and don't lean on your own understanding.'  He says that 'if we acknowledge Him in all our ways He shall direct our paths.'  He says 'we must live by every word that comes out of the mouth of God', but He also says that 'we learn line upon line, precept upon precept.'  So we go through a learning process, just the same as a father - child relationship on earth. 

We have to be reproved by the Lord's Word for as it says in proverbs 20 v. 15 'the rod and reproof give wisdom , but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame.' 

Sometimes we try to sort problems out ourselves, anger etc., because we get a bit afraid when people oppress us, but we must not fear man as, again in proverbs 29 v.25 we are told 'the fear of man brings a snare, but whoever puts his trust in the Lord shall be safe.'  I want to become what the Lord wants me to be and I want to learn my Father's ways.  It is no good going on with the Lord if I am not listening to, and acting upon, what He says as I am growing older, for 'better is a poor and wise child than an old and foolish king who will no more be admonished.'

I am honoured that because of what Jesus alone has done I can be reconciled back to God. 

Seek first the Kingdom of God

Some time ago, on a short program called ' Fourthought ' where people are allowed to share their thoughts on a television channel called Channel four, a lady asked 'Is it right to pray for riches?'.  A song I had written several years ago came straight into my mind.  It is called 'If I could have one hundred crowns.' 

I wrote it as a testimony to how the Lord has always provided all my needs, and how seeking the kingdom of God and His righteousness has always, and always will be, my number one priority.  To learn to be content with little or much can help to take away many fears, and relying on God brings that contentment. Praise His lovely name and the name of His Son Jesus.

If I could have one hundred crowns 

all decked with precious stones
If ten thousand queens of Sheba 

brought me presents from afar
If I lived in perfect luxury 

with gold to flesh my bones

Lord these things 

could never make me what You are

I could have the world's great scholars 

with their intellect and fame
they'd teach me logic, they'd teach me science 

they'd teach me how the flowers grow
I would have the best position 

with wages I could name
but they could never teach me 

what You know

There's only one crown that I want 

it's not decked with fancy jewels
no fine, important persons 

bring me presents from afar
I may live in humble dwellings 

surrounded by life's fools
but I've found all I need 

in what You are

I've found the finest teacher 

God sent Him from above
and it's not with earthly wisdom 

that I'm taught
For I'm learning patience, kindness, 

I'm learning tolerance and love
and with all the gold on Earth

 they can't be bought

I could climb the highest mountain, 

search the heavens high above
I could sail the world's great seas 

from shore to shore
Never finding what I'm looking for, 

that sanctuary of love
for it's in God's house 

and Jesus is the door

Yes it's in God's house ..... 

and Jesus is the door

I love all scripture, but one of the most beautiful verses in the whole of the Bible to me is the first verse of Psalm 18.  It reads ' I will love Thee O Lord my strength '. 

When I first came across this verse I felt it was summing up all that I have ever wanted to say to the Lord in one sentence.  For whether I have received blessing, healing, correction, knowledge or anything else from the Lord these words would express perfectly my thoughts towards Him at all times.  I know that His words to me when I seek Him are always to strengthen me in Him, and I am coming to know that I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me.

If an unbeliever seeks advice or help on any matter, he or she will look to a person or a book that they believe will have knowledge on that particular subject.  How much better that I seek advice from the One who knows all things, and can do all things, including that which is not possible for man to know or do.  The only thing that has ever caused me to question what the Lord tells me is the human knowledge which is stored in my carnal mind.  If man's wisdom had never been fed into my mind there would be nothing to challenge God's words to me, and I would know only God's wisdom.

There are two strengths that are able to dominate my life and the one I try to live by is the strength of my Lord.  The other one I must try to put to death.  It is the strength that dominated the old me, the one that was born of flesh.  It can have a negative power over the fleshly me if I allow it to, and that power is a liar, a thief and a murderer by nature, seeking to deceive me with false knowledge and rob me of the blessings of God and eternal life that can only be found in Christ Jesus. 

Isaiah ch.30 vs1 and 2 read 'Woe to the rebellious children,' says the Lord, 'who carry out a plan but not mine, and who make a league, but not of my Spirit, that they may add sin to sin, who set out to go down to Egypt without asking for my counsel, to take refuge in the protection of Pharaoh, and to seek shelter in the shadow of Egypt.'  Egypt here is spiritually discerned as representing the world, and Pharaoh the strength of that world.  In ch.31 vs 1to 3 the Lord continues to remind His people that only woe can come from relying on Egypt and its strength instead of consulting the Lord, saying that the Egyptians are merely men, and not God and that their strong horsemen and horses are flesh, and not spirit.

These scriptures, amongst many others have been used by the Lord to strengthen me in sickness, amongst other things many times since I became a Christian, and are proving themselves true in my life.  They have been used when I have been at my weakest to show me a power that is far above any physical power, a power that is able to comfort and sustain me where the words of men would not be able to.  I cannot explain it except to say that it is a feeding of the soul, a case of the Spirit of God being the main source of my survival instead of food and drink.

The Lord showed me a long time ago the meaning of a Hebrew word found in the Bible, the word Chattath, sin offering, from Chata, to miss the mark, it also signifies sin in general, and is a very apt term by which to express its nature.  A sinner is continually aiming at and seeking happiness, but as he or she does not seek it in God, hence the scripture represents him as missing his aim, or missing the mark.  I believe that I can continually miss out on blessings by missing the mark when I choose to listen to my carnal mind on many occasions dictating worldly wisdom rather than listen to the Lord's instruction .  In the new testament the term 'turned back from following Him' is used when some disciples found it too hard to 'eat and drink' the body and blood of the Lord

Although it has often been very hard to focus on what the Lord is telling me above what my carnal mind is telling me, I have found that when I do His words have become a very real strength in some of my weakest times.  Many times I have found that using the forty ninth and fiftieth verses of Psalm 119, which read 'remember thy word to thy servant in which thou hast made me hope .  This is my comfort in my affliction that thy promise gives me life. ', and reminding the Lord of the words He has spoken to me, have actually had the power to remove pain or discomfort, sometimes in seconds.

Other scriptures that the Lord has spoken to me have been brought to my mind when I have found it difficult to do or say something that would go against what my natural mind would tell me to do, and I have been amazed at the power those words have to remove my fears and bring about the foretold outcome.  The more I seek the Lord for help, and try to act upon His Word spoken to me, especially speaking it out, the more I feel His strength in me conquering the two main enemies that would rob me of His blessings, doubt and fear.  Even writing this testimony instils more of His strength in me and belief that He is able to do all things.  I continue to say ' I will love Thee O Lord my strength.'

I love Thee O Lord my strength and my song
For loving a wretch such as me
For though in my life Satan's bonds have been strong
Your love has been setting me free
Continue to strengthen me, feed me Your word
As I search for my answers in You
Then help me to act upon all that I've heard
For I know that Your sayings are true

Oh precious Lord if I could not see 

Your outstretched hand on my troubled sea
If I did not hear Your constant plea 

saying 'Don't look down child, look at Me'
Then I'd sink beneath these icy waves, 

far away from the hand that saves
Unable to hear Your faithful voice 

telling me 'Child, it's still your choice'