Reason for my blog name.

 I just feel to repost the first post I put up on this blog, just to share to some who would not know why I started to write this blog.

My conversion to Christianity had been dramatic.  I had been very  ' worldly ' previous to my conversion, but had also experienced the supernatural presence of God through a healing when I was a child and a near death experience during my adult life.   When I was about seven years of age, I was brought home from school because I was ill.  As I lay in pain on the sofa in our living room that late afternoon my father, who was a Christian, prayed for me to be made well.  I remember all the room appearing to turn blue and my pain disappeared.  My father had been a lovely person who often, when we children had arguments and we would ask him 'Dad, dad, who is right?, would say ' Let's see what the Lord says ', and would find a verse in his Bible that would always settle the argument and bring peace amongst us.  He was quite a bit older than my mother, and died when I was eleven years of age.  I was actually in the room at his passing.  It left a great void in my life

' Father - where are you? ' said the child in despair
' Father where are you? ' she cried
But in the darkened room there was nobody there
For the father she loved had just died 

When I was thirty five I became a Christian and was baptized in water and the baptism of the Holy Spirit followed, with the gift of speaking in tongues enabling me to pray according to the will of God. 

' Father - where are You? ' said the child once again
' Father where are You? ' she cried
But this time it was not as it had been then
For now God was the Father on whom she relied

Through her deepest emotions - love, anger and shame
When her heart was in turmoil You was calling her name
When the hurt that she carried was too much to bear
If it wasn't for You Lord there'd be nobody there

You are always there Jesus though we don't always see
You revealing God's love to the world ....... and to me

 I immediately began to feel a deep desire to tell others about Jesus and the need for salvation.  I remember once being on a railway station looking into the restaurant at all the people sat in there.  I wondered how many of them knew that we all have to be born again of God's Holy Spirit in order to enter the kingdom of God, and that Jesus is the only name under Heaven by which we might get saved and be reconciled back to God.  It made me want to cry, and there on that railway station I prayed for the people that I saw in the restaurant and all those who did not know about salvation through Jesus.

We were living in a flat in Adelaide, South Australia, at the time.  We had sold our bungalow and were in the process of trying to decide whether we should return to the U.K or move to another state.  That afternoon, after the experience on the railway station, I returned to our flat with this burden for people heavily on my mind.  I entered the flat and went straight to the bathroom.  A soon as I entered the bathroom I was aware of something deeply spiritual.  The whole room suddenly began to change until I was aware that I was standing inside a lighthouse.  I was looking out through a door and could see little boats on a very rough sea.  Each little boat was occupied by just one person, and I was aware that these boats were drifting out on the ocean, that the people had no control over them amd were in danger of drowning.  Then, just as suddenly, I was back in my bathroom, amazed at what I had just experienced.

Shortly after, we returned to the U.K to live in Lancashire,  We stayed with my brother and his family for six weeks and then were given a council house.  Within a short time the Lord led me to some other Christians and added to us until eventually a church became established.  We used to pray and intercede for the area constantly and the Lord continued to add to us.  At that time I suddenly started to write poetry and songs, some which seemed to minister to people and some which were my own personal prayers, which the Lord sometimes answered within the poem itself.  I still had this burden for outsiders which had become even stronger.  I felt like I wanted to stand outside in the street and tell everyone about Jesus but did not know how to.  I prayed to the Lord and felt that all my frustrations, and the answer to them, came out in this poem.

No need to tell You Father what joy is in my heart

No need to tell this family of which I'm now a part

But when I try to tell the world about the way I feel

My words do not express Lord Your love which is so real

'Just put your trust in Me child'  You always seem to say

'Be gentle and forgiving - Jesus shows the way'

I call the world through Jesus, this you know is so

For when you first sought Me child I said 'To Him you go'

So do not worry for the world, for he who seeks will find

Just rest, surrounded by my love - life's chains no longer bind

And when you've learnt your Father's ways, each day to you revealed

Then you too will show the world just how my love is sealed

This settled my heart to know that I did not have to worry about other people being visited with salvation, that God was in control, but I also felt that He was going to lead me into evangelism.

The area that we were living in, like most areas, housed some drug addicts and heavy drinkers, and a lot of my prayers were out of concern for them.  One day I read in a newspaper how a nightclub called 'The Lighthouse' had been burned down and people had died in the fire.  I cried bitterly as I recalled my vision and related the loneliness and despair of the people in their little boats on the ocean in my vision to the loneliness and despair that I knew existed in the world of club night life and its so called 'joys'.  I cried for the people who had died in their 'Lighthouse' without maybe ever having experiencing the joys of knowing the Lord.  This anguish also came out in the form of a poem, which I called ......

The Lighthouse

Father I'm in the lighthouse, I'm in Your sanctuary

saved from the perils of the world - plucked from the stormy sea

No longer in life's darkness, a light was shone for me

And not because I was righteous, but because I needed to be

Father I see many people outside upon the waves

tossed about in their boats of fear, seeking the hand that saves

They're drowning in the ocean of misery and pain

striving to keep from sinking - but labouring in vain

Father send them Jesus, just like You did with me

shine the light towards them and change their destiny

Cause them to see their Saviour, Your wonderful, precious Son

bring them into Your kingdom, and let Your will be done

Father how I love You, and want to praise Your name

I'll bless the name of Jesus ...... and thank my God He came

The Lord started to bring people from the area I was living in across my path, and some of these people would come to my home for prayer meetings, and would come to church.  Meanwhile I would discuss my desires with a lady friend at church who spoke about maybe the two of us opening a coffee shop called 'The Lighthouse', but nothing came of it.

After living in Lancashire for two years we returned to Bridgend to live and I started attending church where I met my friend, Paula.  We started meeting together regularly for prayer and realized that we were united in the Spirit as far as the burden for the unsaved was concerned.  Paula started writing poetry and songs, and we realized much of our poems appeared to be evangelistic in nature.  We sought the Lord over them and felt we were instructed by Him to put these poems into leaflet form, with corresponding scriptures, and go out into the 'highways and the byways' with them.  This we did and still do.

Soon after, we felt the Lord directing us to Cardiff prison with out poetry and songs, with the Lord telling us that He had 'set before us an open door'.  We went to Cardiff and on the way to the prison we called at the ladies toilet in the market.  I went to put money in a door with 'vacant' on it, and a lady stood at the sink said 'That one's not working, someone just put money in and it would not open'.  I had already dropped the coin into the slot, so I tried to slide the catch across, and the door opened.  'That's strange' the lady said, it would not open just now'.  When I came out of the cubicle someone else put money into the slot and the door would not open.  Both Paula and myself felt that this was a sign going together with the scripture the Lord had given us concerning an open door to us going into the prison.  We went to the prison only to be told that the chaplain was the one we should speak to and that he was not there that day.  I immediately wrote a note telling him what we felt to do and left some of our leaflets to be given to him.  He contacted us on the following Wednesday and, after an arranged meeting, invited us to be prison visitors.  This we did for eighteen months, and during that time were allowed to evangelise to the prisoners, freely sharing our poetry and songs whilst doing so.  We both felt this was our calling from God, to evangelise to those in despair.  I had already shared the story of my vision with Paula, we started to pray to the Lord for 'The Lighthouse', a place where people could come to have a cup of coffee and the gospel, people who may not initially come into the established church buildings.  The Lord had for some time been telling us that we would be a light to the gentiles, and to set the prisoners free, and giving us the ministry to do it through our poetry and songs as well as verbal witnessing.  He was opening doors for us to do this constantly.
One night a friend left a book she was reading in my car after I had dropped her off.  The next morning I read the book.  It was about a man who had also felt a burden for the lost and a desire to have a similar kind of place.  The Lord had provided this place and also the money to purchase it.  I felt that the Lord could be confirming to me through this book that there woould be a place called 'The Lighthouse'.  
That afternoon I had invited my sister and brother in law to my house and also invited Paula.  I was so excited about what I felt was happening that I determined to tell Paula when I saw her that I believed the Lord was speaking about 'The Lighthouse'.  As Paula came through my back garden gate that afternoon I said 'Paula, I think the Lord is speaking about the Lighthouse.'  She was amazed.  She said that she had been waiting for the bus to come up to my house.  She had to go to the bus stop in Market Street in Bridgend because the bus station was closed.  As she sat on the bus she noticed a property for sale across the road, a business property which had been used as a video shop.  She did not think anything of it until the bus went around the town in a full circle coming back to the same place and she was once more right opposite this shop.  Now she felt that her attention was being brought to this property, and she thought about 'The Lighthouse.  'Lord', she said, 'If You are pointing this property out as the future Lighthouse then have Brenda say to me when I see her, 'I think the Lord is talking about 'The Lighthouse'.
We decided to go to enquire about the property.  Shortly after, I had a dream in which someone was saying to me 'You have to move into number thirty five'  I told them 'I don't want to move into thirty five, it hasn't got a garden'.  When we were shown around the property we were told it was number thirty five, and it was up for sale for thirty five thousand pounds.  We didn't have the money and someone else bought it, an Indian man.  We prayed about this and still we felt that the Lord was speaking about 'The Lighthouse', telling us through Joshua ch.1 that we would go in and possess the land, and through Esther ch.4 that we had come for such a time as this.  Paula actually went to work for the man who had bought the property.  He owned bed sits in another part of town as well, and she went to clean them.  I used to go with her sometimes and the Lord gave us many opportunities to witness to the tenants, who were mostly young males.  At one time Paula thought she might sell her house and try to buy the property in Market Street, it had a flat upstairs, but she did not have enough money to do so.  Several times we were offered the chance of renting the property, but we did not have enough money and planning permission was refused for a cafe at that time because of the fact that there was no pavement fronting it. 
About this time I started creating laminated poetry wall hangings, little cards, painted picture poems and other little Christian crafts, and Paula started making crocheted shawls, bags and other  crafts, these  increased and we often thought they would be suitable for selling and displaying in 'The Lighthouse'.  The property in Market street was let to several people but never for any length of time until, I believe, it became a hairdressers several years ago.
I had stopped thinking about the property becoming 'The Lighthouse', then something happened.  I had been to Neath with my husband and while there a lady came into my mind whom I had not seen or thought of for some years.  The next day I saw her in Bridgend and she had a young man with her who was concerned about something that had happened to him that he felt he had no control over and did not understand.  I gave him one of my Christian leaflets that I felt would speak directly into his situation, and he asked if I would come to the lady's house soon to speak with him.  The lady also invited me to her house, and asked me to pray for her, that she had to go into hospital because she had cancer.  She told me that the last time I had seen her I had given her a poem because she was upset about something, that it had helped her and that she had also passed it on to a man who had lost his sixteen year old son.  She then asked if I would write her another poem because she was sick.  I told her that I had a poem which I believed would speak to her, and that I would bring it with me to her house.  I asked if I could bring a friend with me and she said I could.  Paula said she would come with me and I rang up a couple of days later, when this lady told me of a friend who had tried to kill herself.  I arranged for us to go that afternoon, and took with me another poem and scripture for the friend.  During the couple of hours we spent there, several peoples' lives were shown to be in such darkness, and yet I could see the Lord's purpose in our visit.  the lady we were visiting had previously had an experience where she believed that God had brought a friend out of a coma as a result of her seeking Him. When I came home I started to think about the need for the Lord to be in everyone's life and over the next few days I felt the need to pray and to intercede, crying for these people.  One evening shortly after, I was tidying up my files on my computer when I came across something I had not seen for years, I had forgotten that it was on my computer.  It was a letter to the owner of the shop in Market Street, asking him if he would let Paula and myself rent the premises.  The letter was dated November 26th 1998.  As I read the letter on my computer screen I realized that the date that day was also November 26th, nine years later.  I had to ask myself, 'Is the Lord in this?'
Some strange things happened during the next couple of weeks.  I was putting a little booklet together called 'The world lies in darkness'  The church that I was attending was open at night on weekends to allow people who might need help to come in.  There are many pubs and clubs open in the town and people sometimes get injured in fights or become distressed, and pastors from the town's churches patrol the area.  It came into my mind that it might be nice to leave the booklet around for them to read if they wished.  I thought I might take it to the pastor of the church.  I took it down on the Tuesday ladies' meeting and he was there preaching about being a light to the gentiles.  I had given him the book when I walked in and could not help but notice that so many things that he preached were similar to what was in the booklet.  I also thought about the Lighthouse poem being in the front of the booklet and wondered, once again, if the Lighthouse café might come into being.
Shortly after, we were in the process of moving to Llandybie, near Ammanford in West Wales, and I thought 'What about the Lighthouse?' Then the banker made a mistake twice in my name, calling me Sandra, and printing out insurance cover twice with that name on it.  I thought about how the building we wanted for the Lighthouse used to be called 'Sandra's'.  Sandra means 'one who helps men' or exciter of love', and that is part of the work of the Holy Spirit in us.  Since coming to our new home my prayers for what I am to do with all that I feel I have been brought to write have increased passionately, and recently I have been brought through several events to find myself sat in front of a computer feeling very strongly that I should set up this blog.

Our responsibility in these times.

Giving presents at Christmas is a nice thing to do, but the greatest thing we can do to our little children, grand children, or great grandchildren is to share the story of Jesus' birth . It doesn't even matter whether Jesus was not born on December 25th, which He actually wasn't, but what does matter is that little ones will have the true story told to them. What comes straight into my mind is Proverbs ch. 22 v.6 which says :- 

 'Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it'.

This does not mean that they will not stray, for all have to be born again of God's Holy Spirit in order to learn God's ways, and in John ch. 3 vs 3-5 Jesus mentions  this:- 

' Jesus answered and said unto him, 'Verily, verily, I say unto thee, 'Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.'

Nicodemus said unto Him, 'How can a man be born when he is old? can he enter the second time into his mother's womb, and be born?

Jesus answered, 'Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he can not enter into the kingdom of God.'

All we as born again believers can be responsible for, regarding children at this time of the year, is to make sure that they not only get nice gifts - whatever they might be - but most importantly hear the story of Jesus' birth, so that they will know of it.

May the Lord Jesus be our strength in these trying times, and I pray for those who don't know Him to come to Him and seek His wisdom. God bless all who read with all the blessings He has for us.

Seeing the whole picture

 In a previous house we lived in we were having cavity wall insulation put in, there were two men doing the job and I had made them both a cup of coffee. They finished the drink and left the cups on the step outside the French doors.  In the meantime my husband was questioning one of the workmen on an issue to do with why a certain area of the cavity wall was not being treated. The man gave my husband an explanation and then carried on his work.  My husband did not quite understand what the man had said and so questioned him further.  The man said 'You don't believe me do you?' and proceeded to explain more fully why the particular area of the wall was not being treated.  Finally, when my husband had more information, and could see the whole picture, he was satisfied that the man was right in what he was saying.  Until he had all the information my husband had been making a judgment with the small amount of knowledge that he had on the subject.  Lack of understanding had caused suspicion.

Soon after, something else happened which reaffirmed this train of thought.  I had brought the coffee cups in from the doorstep to wash them.  I noticed that there was a crack around the base of one of the cups.  'Throw it out' said my husband.  'There's another one of those mugs that has a crack in it in the cupboard.'  I said, 'I'll throw that one out too.'  This I endeavoured to do.

As I threw the two cups into the kitchen bin I suddenly had a thought in my mind. What if one of the men wanted to throw something into the bin and spotted the two cups there, they could think that I had thrown the two cups that they had used into the bin simply because they had drunk from them, for all the mugs were the same. What an awful atmosphere that would create!

One part of my mind was telling me not to be so absurd, but the other part was pointing out the fact that my husband's limited knowledge had caused him to be suspicious about the reason the workmen were not insulating one particular area of the house, and that the same situation could happen with the mugs when they had not heard our conversation regarding them. So I decided that the easiest way of avoiding misunderstanding was to put the cups inside a carrier bag inside the kitchen bin.  I had been made aware of how easy it is to misjudge a situation by what we see and think we know, when we do not see the whole picture.

It is God alone Who sees all, and these kind of trials are given us so that we might learn to be patient and not to judge by the small amount we think we know by what we see.  

How do I tell them You love them

I would just like to share a poem and a song that I wrote some time back.

LIFE IS A GIFT  (poem)

Life is a gift of precious time

a lease of years untold

do we realize this naked truth                             

as our given days unfold

and should we not be listening                     

each moment of the day

to the Voice that's crying out to us                       

to walk the narrow way

One life we have upon this earth

to live just as we choose

a span of precious moments of time

a time that we must use

We find ourselves within a space

there are others there as well

and why they're brought across our path

God alone can tell

We're everyone each loved by Him

every woman, child and man

and the only thing He'll ask of us

is to do the best we can

And the only thing remaining

as we stand before God's Son

will be God's book of remembrance

and the deeds that we have done

HOW DO I TELL THEM YOU LOVE THEM   (song)

How do I tell them You love them

how can I show them You care

how can I tell them You died for them Lord

their sickness, their sins You did bear

How can I tell of salvation 

the path to the Father revealed

how can I say, if they call on Your name

the wounds from this world can be healed

Grant me the courage to tell them

anoint me with power from above

use me, my Lord, to go out in their midst

to tell them about Your great love

I want them to know about Jesus

the One with the power to save

the Holy One sent to release us from sin

the Son of God raised from the grave

I thank You, my Father, for Jesus

Who’s with You, sat at Your right hand

and I thank You, my Lord, that you answer my prayer

when I pray for the lost in this land

‘Wait on the Lord, and keep His way, and He shall exalt thee to inherit the land, when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see it    Psalm 37 v.34

‘‘ For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost ‘   Luke ch.19 v10

Springtime resurrection

I have been quite busy lately, and have not been able to put together a post I have in mind, so I thought I would re post one of the articles I wrote some time back, which speaks  about looking forward to both physical and spiritual brighter days.  I called it 'Springtime resurrection'.

 

 

Springtime!  What a perfect example of resurrection.  I look at the cherry tree in my garden at that time of year and see life that has lain hidden for months shoot forth in new form from the branches of the tree that has stood firm through Winter's harshness protecting all that lay within.  How clearly it reveals to me the protection of the Lord as I struggle to live the life of a Christian in this world, endeavouring to run and win the race that is set before me. 


I am being formed in Christ, being created in the image of the One within whom I rest, as I learn God's ways.  I am encouraged through all that I see in this example of nature's time of renewal as the branches start to sprout buds which in their turn become both leaves and blossom which will play their individual parts in the tree bearing fruit and reproducing, and I am captivated by the fact that the parent tree has given the protection from the elements that is essential before this new creation can emerge.
 

 

Just as the new life began to form in the darkest season, so too did Jesus enter into my life at its darkest time.  Just as the life of the tree is within  the new creation that it will form and the new creation lies within  the tree at its most vulnerable stage in Winter, and even when Spring arrives must stay connected to live, so too a Christian must hide in Christ at a very young age and stay connected, even when mature, to live.  
 

 

In the book of John, ch.11 v.25 Jesus says that He is the resurrection and the life, and it is belief in Him that causes one to have that 'life'.  In the same way that the tree contains every thing within itself to protect and bring forth its own new life, Jesus has within Himself, through the Word of God, everything that will protect us from the world's destructive influence, and that will conform us to His image.


If God is for me

If God is for me who can be my foe?
that the Master loves me is all I need to know
Can tribulation, trial and fear
make me give up hope when my Lord is near
can worldly woes and misery
keep me tightly bound when I've been set free?
No, God the Father heard my cry

long ago He sent His Son to die
The perfect, spotless lamb was slain
to free man from sin's filth and pain
and now this sin - my enemy
always crouching at my door
at Jesus' name must bow the knee
and trouble me no more

 

 

Throughout the Winter, though the elements may pound against my cherry tree, the forming of the new branches that will appear in the Spring goes on within.  So too if I remain within the protection of Christ the tree of life, being nurtured by His substance, I shall attain that resurrection from the death of my sinful state and be conformed into His sinless image, just as my loving Heavenly Father has desired.


I say a prayer to Jesus

I say a prayer to Jesus 

to the One who always hears
to the Holy One of Isra-el 
who wipes away all tears
Great reader of hearts 
and Spirit of truth
guide us dear Lord 
in our days of youth
My prayer is for wisdom 
to know what is right
Oh send us the fire 
to lighten our night

Make our pathways straight Lord
teach us to lean on You 
lead us by Your Spirit Lord
with Your word so pure and true
We love You Lord as children
who love a Father dear
we cry to You to comfort us and know that You will hear
We know the world is treacherous in this the evil day
so guide our feet dear Father along the narrow way
One thing we've known for certain from the day of our rebirth
is that He who lives within us is greater than he that is on this earth


  'I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.   He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit He prunes that it will be even more fruitful.   You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.   Remain in me, as I also remain in you.   No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.   Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.   I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit;  apart from me you can do nothing.    If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.   If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.    This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.'     John ch. 15 vs.1-8

I've found all I need in what You are

If I could have one hundred crowns

all decked with precious stones

if ten thousand queens of Sheba

brought me presents from afar                                                 

If I lived in perfect luxury 

with gold to flesh my bones

Lord these things could never make me

what You are

I could have the world's great scholars

with their intellect and fame

they'd teach me logic, they'd teach me science

they'd teach me how the flowers grow

I would have the best position

with wages I could name

but they could never teach me what You know

There's only one crown that I want

it's not decked with fancy jewels

no fine important persons

bring me presents from afar                                                           

I may live in humble dwellings

surrounded by life's fools

but I've found all I need in what You are

I've found the finest teacher                           

God sent You from above

and it's not with Earthly wisdom                   

that I'm taught

for I'm learning patience, kindness            

I'm learning tolerance and love

and with all the gold on Earth

that can't be bought

I could climb the highest mountains

search the heavens high above

I could sail the world's great seas

from shore to shore

never finding what I'm looking for

that sanctuary of love

For it's in God's house

and Jesus - You're the door

Time is passing by

I Just feel to re post this post that I put up about seven years ago when I lived in Wales, as time means nothing to the Lord.  The booklet that I speak about in the older post has now been finished:-  

 For some time now I have felt that I want to put a little booklet together, but never seem to be able to make the time to do it.  I have created  several small booklets with my desk top publishing programmes in the past, some articles of which I have used in posts on my blog, and feel a strong urge to write another one.   So this may be the last post I will write for a while as I will not be able to spend so much time on blogging, although I will enjoy visiting other blogs to catch up on my reading now and again, and if I feel the urge to put up a post, will do so.   I thoroughly enjoy interacting with other bloggers, and thank other bloggers for interacting with me.  However, I  know there is a time for everything and do not want to miss the moment as time passes by quickly and I believe that the Holy Spirit is encouraging me to write this booklet, for whatever reason, and that I must respond to that encouragement to be in the will of the Lord. 

'To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens'

Ecclesiastes ch.3 v.1

Two days ago I went to  a nature park with my sister to have a reunion with two old school friends.   I had visited this place before and taken some lovely pics of the swans there one Summer, so it was nice to re-visit it in Winter.

All things are passing by

There is a season for all things a time and purpose too

for God has fashioned every day that we must travel through

There is a season to be strong, a season to be weak

a time to give opinion and a time we should not speak

And whether things be good or bad, all things are passing by

for this world is a testing place to perfect both you and I

So do not worry if some days all things do not go right

just be yourself - maintain your ways, be honest in God's sight

And if today you need more strength or patience to endure

just call upon the Saviour's name, His counselling is pure

'Tis He alone who understands the 'wherefore's' and the 'why's'

and nothing in this world of man is hidden from His eyes

So seek instruction from the One who watches from above

for every word that comes from Him is blessed with grace and love     

     

'Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him: but I will defend my own ways before Him.  He also shall be my salvation: for a hypocrite shall not come before Him.'

Job ch.13 vs.15,16

I just feel to add this short poem to encourage other believers to share what they feel led to 

share.

The planting of a seed

You may not reap the harvest 

of the work that you have done

may never know the outcome of your deed

but all that matters in God's eyes

is that you  do your best

to help another being with a need

You may say 'Did I do enough

and could I have done more?'

but the battle is not ours to fight

as our Saviour has already won the war