My Journey through the wilderness - part 1

I came across some older writings of mine containing part of my early testimony and thought I would share it on my blog.  Although we put posts on our blogs, we can sometimes know very little of one another's testimonies so I thought it would be nice to share a little of mine on this post.   It will be in two or three parts because of the length of it.

Coming out of Egypt

I had not long come into the church and many Christians, wishing to help me in my Christian walk, brought me books and tapes on Christian doctrines, so many in fact that I began to feel swamped.  Up until that time I felt my teaching had been very pure, from the Holy Spirit, just God and me and the Bible.  Now I had all these different voices coming in from different directions, and when I tried to learn from these tapes and books they appeared to contradict one another.  So I asked God to show me what was true.  My prayer came out in the form of a song.

Crossroads

Father I ask You which road do I take
which sign points the way to Your throne
I'm stood at the crossroads of life and death
and I can't find the way on my own
I can't find the way on my own, my own

I can't find the way on my own                                         
I'm stood at the crossroads of life and death
and I can't find the way on my own

Show me the way Lord to blessing and life
I ask You to open my eyes
There's so many voices saying 'This is the way'
I can't tell the truth from the lies

So take my hand Jesus and lead me along 
the road leading back to my God
I want no great riches in this world of sin 
I need only Your staff and Your rod

God answered me through several scriptures that I knew the Holy Spirit was pointing out to me.  I was shown that when the Israelites were coming out of Egypt they were told to eat only unleavened bread (Exodus ch.13 v.3).  I could see that as a newly born Christian (part of God's spiritual Israel) I was at that stage spiritually, just coming out from the slavery of the world, so I too had to eat unleavened bread.  I wanted to know what these words meant spiritually, as the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians ch. 2 v.14 'But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.'  I wanted to know what God was telling me here.  

I could see from Matthew ch. 16 vs. 6 - 12 that the word 'leaven' referred to 'man added' doctrine.  'Be careful', Jesus said to them.  Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.'  They discussed this among themselves and said, 'It is because we didn't bring any bread.'  Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked, “You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread? Do you still not understand? Don’t you remember the five loaves for the five thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? Or the seven loaves for the four thousand, and how many basketfuls you gathered? How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread? But be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.” Then they understood that he was not telling them to guard against the yeast used in bread, but against the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.

The whole of John ch. 6 is about Jesus being the bread of life.  He is also portrayed as the 'Word of God'  in John ch.1 v.1.  I felt the Holy Spirit was telling me that I had to receive the undoctrined word of God.  Some of the books and tapes that I had been given appeared to have teachings that were additional to, and which appeared to me to contradict, the scriptures.  The words that my father often spoke to settle arguments when issues arose amongst we his children, 'Let's see what the Lord says',  constantly came back to my mind, so I sought the Lord for His guidance and wisdom in my trials.   I also realized, as the Bible says, that the gate would be narrow and hard would be the road that led to life, (Matthew ch. 7 vs. 13,14), and there could be no compromising with the world if I was to serve God and work out my salvation. 

The children of Israel, on their journey to the promised land, had gone through many trials and temptations, and many had fallen on the way.  I would travel a similar journey and they would be an example to me of what to do and what not to do as I learned.  The Bible confirms this in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians in Corinthians ch.10 vs. 1 - 11 which reads 'For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea.  They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea.  They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiriutal rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ.  Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.  Now these things occurred as examples to keep us from setting our hearts on evil things as they did.  Do not be idolaters, as some of them were; as it is written: 'The people sat down to eat and drink and got up to indulge in revelry.'  We should not commit sexual immorality, as some of them did -and in one day twenty three thousand of them died. We should not test Christ, as some of them did and were killed by snakes.  And do not grumble, as some of them did and were killed by the destroying angel.  These things happened to them as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the culmination of the ages has come.'

I did not want to fall so I prayed to God constantly to help me.  One of my prayers took the form of a poem which I called :-

No compromise

Father keep me faithful 
to all that I have heard
while listening to Your Spirit 
ground me in Your Word
Keep me on that path Lord 
upon that narrow road

no matter how hard the journey 
no matter how heavy the load
Lord keep me obedient 
to all You're telling me
release me from all worldly bonds
Father set me free

And Lord if I should grumble
saying 'Manna every day'
remind me of Your sacrifice
and the price You had to pay
Open up my ears Lord 
to all You're telling me


for Lord I know Your discipline
can only set me free
and God forbid that I should fall
because of unbelief
when seeking after worldly things
can only bring me grief


So if a soul should say to me
'Just a little compromise'

remind me that a little sin
is still sin in Your eyes
and who am I to tamper
with the perfect Word of God
when I know the One who holds the staff
can also use the rod
So Lord prepare that place for me
that mansion in the sky
for although I've not yet won the race
.... I'm really going to try